[F519]
STUDY XIII
PARENTAL OBLIGATIONS OF THE NEW
CREATION
Great Obligations Attach to the Exercise of Procreative Powers--Prenatal
Influences--"Train up a Child in the Way He Should Go!"--The
Influence of Sunday Schools--The Confidence of Children--The
Power of Suggestion in Child Training--Our Children in the Time of
Trouble--Proper and Improper Amusements--Marriage of Children of
New Creatures.
PARENTAL obligations are amongst the most momentous
pertaining to the affairs of mankind. The power to propagate
the human species, with all the possibilities connected
and associated with the being thus brought into existence,
is a wonderful one--the nearest approach of humanity to
the divine power. Indeed, it is the exercise of divine power
by man as God's agent. The possibilities connected with the
birth of every child extend in opposite directions of advantage
or disadvantage, good or evil, honor or dishonor, to
wonderful extremes. Surely if mankind realized this matter
from its true standpoint, it would lift the begetting of children
from the plane of a passion and a relaxation of intellectual
and moral principles to a consecrated plane, in
which the responsibilities of fatherhood and motherhood
would be realized in a manner and to a degree attained as
yet surely by very few. These thoughts of obligation should
extend not only to the child, whose mental and moral and
physical characteristics are dependent upon the parent, but
also to the Creator who intrusted to humanity this wonderful
power of propagation, and to whom, as stewards, a reckoning,
an accounting for the use of this divine power should
be expected to be made.
These feelings of responsibility are intensified as we begin
to realize that under the divine arrangement not only do
the parents influence the character of the coming child in
[F520]
the moment of its begettal, but throughout the period of
gestation. During that period the mind of the mother, her
thoughts, her moods, her sentiments, are all being impressed
upon the embryo child; and not only so, but at such
a period the mother herself is specially susceptible to the influences
surrounding her, many, if not all, of which are
properly under the care of the husband. If the mother's
mind be kept bright and cheerful and her heart happy,
these will favorably influence the embryo; but if on the contrary
she is harassed, worried, troubled, beset with contentions
and perplexities, this distress will surely be
impressed upon the embryo, giving a peevish or sad or ill-tempered
disposition for life. If the prenatal surrounding
conditions be those of debauchery and selfishness and
meanness, is it any wonder that the embryo so impressed
and the child born with such impressions should be mean,
ignoble, and with tendencies toward debauchery, selfishness,
etc.?
We are not to be understood as claiming that all the evil
in the world is directly traceable to a parental legacy of sin
and weakness bestowed upon the child in the period of gestation,
nor even that it is all traceable to this and to the subsequent
training of the child to manhood or womanhood.
We admit that it is possible that some bad men and bad
women were comparatively well born and well reared, even
as Satan was created perfect and sinned wilfully under the
Creator's tuition: yet we are seriously inclined to doubt if
many of the bad characters ever had these two important
assistances toward uprightness. We are in full agreement
with the Scriptural declaration of a general rule: "Train up
a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will
not depart from it." How many parents, more or less disposed
to question the truthfulness of this scripture, remember
that the time to begin to train a child is at the moment
of its begettal, and that a poorly begotten child needs to
have trained out of it the weakness and foolishness and sin
which were impressed upon it before birth?
We are not wishing to intimate the possibility of the birth
[F521]
of a perfect child under present fallen and imperfect conditions.
On the contrary, we remember well the declaration of
the Lord, "Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean?"
We recognize that it is true of all that, "I was born in sin,
shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me,"
and are merely urging that, whatever the world may see or
not see on this subject, the Lord's people of the New Creation
should realize the possibility of alleviating in some
measure the stains and weaknesses which belong to the
fallen race. They at least should see to it that their children
are born with as noble characters as they can possibly bestow
upon them under the divine arrangement. Fallen they
will still be, and a Savior they will still need, and without
him they could never attain either to perfection or to
worthiness of eternal life. The natural man may perceive
this truth to some extent and may profit by such suggestions
as these but not to the extent that the New Creature
may profit.
Strive how he will, the natural man is still natural--of the
earth, earthy--and, hence, can impress upon his wife, and
she upon the embryo, only such thoughts and sentiments as
they themselves possess, and these are necessarily deficient
in respect to the very highest sentiments--the spiritual.
While the mind of the New Creature grasps the spiritual
hopes and promises and ideals, and properly seeks to impress
these upon so many as the Lord our God shall call by
his truth and grace--seeks specially to develop children of
God--nevertheless if for any reason they enter matrimonial
relations, and consider it wise to propagate a human family,
they have great advantage in this respect over the natural
man and woman. They have loftier ideals, grander
hopes, nobler aspirations, purer joys: and realizing the influence
of their thoughts and emotions and sentiments
upon the embryo child, such parents would be in a position
to do for the child very much more indeed than could other
parents for their offspring.
The world has gained a selfish wisdom somewhat along
these lines. For instance, those interested in fine stock,
[F522]
cattle, horses, sheep, etc., not only give careful attention to
proper mating, but, additionally, especially when endeavoring
to breed fast horses, give careful attention to the
mothers during the period of gestation. Their every need
and comfort are provided for, their stables are clean, bright,
well lighted; and without knowing to a certainty to what
extent the mare may appreciate pictures, her stable walls
display pictures of horses racing. Moreover, while in foal
she is taken where she can see horses in competition, racing,
etc. All this is designed to produce in the mother an ambition,
the impression of which reflected upon her embryo
foal will be helpful, advantageous to speed, and thus financially
and otherwise profitable and pleasing to the owner.
Human parents have no such financial interest in their
offspring; but they have or ought to have a far deeper and
an unselfish interest. Their hopes and ambitions on behalf
of their child should be to see them well endowed as respects
mental and moral qualities. And although the New Creature
cannot hope to beget his child to a spirit nature (since
this is not his province), he could hope to give him such an
earthly inheritance of good nature as would be closely in
sympathy with things spiritual. Such certainly should be
their desire, aim and hope. Many children have been begotten
by honest, God-fearing parents and have been correspondingly
blessed, and this influence, favorable to a high
human standard, has gone wherever the Gospel of Christ
has gone. Hence, we have higher types and standards more
generally prevalent today in civilized lands than in heathen
lands, notwithstanding the fact that Christian people generally
have but imperfectly appreciated their privileges and
responsibilities in connection with their children.
The sum of the argument is this: If the New Creatures
mate, and purpose the bringing forth of offspring according
to the flesh, they should school their minds and desires
so that the moment of begettal should not only be one of
mutual love and respect, but one of reverence for the Creator
and of appreciation of the God-like power of procreation
bestowed upon them. It should be, additionally, an
[F523]
occasion of prayer for the divine blessing; and every day
and every hour subsequently, the interests of the child
should be conserved in all of life's arrangements. It should
not be considered a mere incident of life, but the most important
thing. It would be a special occasion for the exercise
of the graces of the spirit, which should previously have
been cultivated to a considerable extent--faith in God and
in his promises, hope, trust, patience, brotherly kindness,
meekness, gentleness, love. These, of course, prevail at all
times amongst those who are of the New Creation, but they
should be on guard at such a time because of their realization
that they are influencing, stamping, impressing character
upon another generation.
So far as possible the home should be bright and cheerful,
the mind directed to such channels as would be advantageous,
reading, writing, mathematics and the practical
duties of life. Heart culture should also be remembered--
cultivation along lines in fullest accord with principles of
justice, love and wisdom, with a continual recognition of
the Lord in all of life's affairs; with loving confidences as
between husband and wife, and kind and benevolent feelings
toward the world in general. With benevolence, justice,
love, associated with all of life's affairs, the conditions
would be most favorable; but such a condition could
scarcely be imagined without the fullest concurrence of the
husband and without his careful provision and oversight;
for, as already suggested, the mother at such a time is the
least able to take the oversight of matters, even when they
are those which properly belong to her own domain in the
family. Then, also, the husband must be the more careful to
lead in conversation in the right manner, to provide suitable
and nourishing mental as well as material food, and
above all to stir up his wife's pure mind in regard to the
Lord and his glorious plan and all the features of the divine
character, its wisdom, love, beneficence, justice and power.
Many Christian parents might reply to this, that they are
not so circumstanced in life as to have all the conveniences
and comforts and freedom from household and other cares
[F524]
at such a time. We answer, that we have merely marked out
the ideal, and that it is for each of the Lord's children to
seek to attain as nearly as possible to this ideal. But the New
Creature should never forget that in this as in all the other
experiences of life, the Lord by his grace and spirit makes
up to him for all earthly disadvantages and lacks. Such an
one, unfavorably circumstanced in any degree, should the
more earnestly in prayer seek to have the heart filled with
the peace of God which passeth all understanding, and to
let that rule continually. One result of this peace in the
heart is that, however much disorder may unavoidably surround
the mother, the child would surely enjoy a larger
measure of peace and love than otherwise--more than its
brothers and sisters born under other circumstances would
have. It should be less nervous and peevish, more composed
and peaceable, more disposed for righteousness in principle
and in conduct.
"Train Up a Child in the Way He Should Go"
"He that spareth his rod, hateth his son." (Prov. 13:24) "What son is
he whom the Father chasteneth not?" "If ye be without
chastisement...then
are ye...not sons." Heb. 12:7
Nothing is further from our intention than to urge indiscriminate
and frequent use of the rod in the training of
children. We have cited these scriptures, however, to show
the mistaken position of those who hold that corporal chastisement
by parents, even when necessary, is wrong. The
home that is ruled with the rod must of necessity be an unhappy
home. The homes of the New Creatures should be
ruled by love not by the rod. The rod is to be kept merely as
an occasional necessity for enforcing the rules of love; and
when it is administered it is to be wielded by the hand of
love and never by the hand of anger. The New Creatures,
governed by the spirit of a sound mind, learn gradually
that order is one of heaven's first laws, and hence that it
should be one of the first elements and characteristics of the
homes of the New Creatures.
[F525]
Order, however, does not of necessity mean absolute
quiet, else the wilderness and the silent cities of the dead
would be the only places where order would rule. Order
may mean joy as well as peace, happiness as well as rest, liberty
as well as law. Order means law--with New Creatures
the Golden Rule and the Law of Love governing the head
of the house and his helpmate, as well as governing the children,
making of the parents ensamples to the children in all
the Christian graces. Law, even the Law of Love, means rewards
and punishments, and in the family the parents have
the dispensing of these. According to their realized weaknesses
they, in turn, need direction from the Heavenly Father
that they may glorify him not only in their own hearts
and wills, but that their homes shall be earthly ensamples of
the homes of the righteous, the homes of those who have the
mind of Christ.
Their rewards for their children should be in the provision
of such comforts and blessings as circumstances, under
control of a recognized providence, may permit. Their punishments
may be more or less severe according to the wilfulness
of the child, but never according to the standard of
justice, never in the attempt to mete out to the child the full
measure of what its conduct might justly demand--because
we are not under justice ourselves, but under mercy, under
love, and are to show mercy, not only in our dealings with
others, but specially in our dealings with our own children,
whose imperfections and blemishes are, doubtless,
traceable in a greater or less degree to ourselves and our
forebears. Love may sometimes punish by the refusal of a
kiss, as it may sometimes reward by the giving of a kiss; it
may sometimes for a season banish the unruly one from the
company of the obedient and from the pleasures provided
for them. The Law of Love may sometimes even exercise
the rod of discipline to the extent of denying supper or of
giving merely the necessities, bread and water, and withholding
some of the additional comforts and luxuries; or
may sometimes wield the literal rod of chastisement to enforce
[F526]
obedience, and thus preserve the order and blessings
of the home, not only for the obedient children, but also for
the chastised one, whom it hopes thus to bless and bring
into full accord.
It is scarcely necessary to admonish the New Creation
that they should not use angry or harsh words to their children;
for such know that language of that kind is improper
to any one under any circumstances. On the contrary, their
"speech should be with grace," with love, with kindness,
even when reproving. Nor is it necessary to suggest to the
class we are addressing the impropriety of a hasty blow,
which might do injury to the child not only physically--
perhaps permanently injuring its hearing--but also wound
its affections, develop in it a fear of the parent instead of
love, which should be considered the only proper groundwork
on which the obedience and order of the home are
built. Furthermore, the hasty blow or cutting remark
would be wrong, would indicate a wrong condition of mind
on the part of the parent--a condition unfavorable to a
proper, just decision of the matter along the lines of the
Law of Love. The parent owes it to himself as a part of his
own discipline, as well as to his child, that he shall never
inflict a punishment which he has not sufficiently considered,
and coolly and dispassionately found to be not more,
but less, than justice might properly demand. He owes it to
himself also that the child shall fully understand the situation,
the necessity for the preservation of order in the home,
that the happiness of the home may continue to the blessing
of all its inmates; that the child understand thoroughly also
that the parent has no anger toward him, no malice, no
hatred, nothing but sympathy and love and the desire to do
him good.
Earthly parents may attempt such control, but they will
lack an important help in its prosecution; for not having
submitted themselves fully and completely to the heavenly
Father and his control and his Word, they cannot point, as
would the New Creature, to the divine Law and their accountability,
and their acknowledgment of and endeavors
[F527]
to be obedient to the same. Christian parents have--if they
will use it--an immense leverage of advantage in dealing
with their children. They should read to their children, from
the Word, the divine sanction of parental authority--the divine
requirement that a parent shall train up a child in the
way he should go; and additionally he should point out the
necessity for this--because we all are fallen and unable to
come up to the divine standard, etc.; that all these means
and corrections are necessary as helps to the counteraction
of evil tendencies under which we have been born. It is a
great mistake to suppose that children's minds do not appreciate
these principles, do not appreciate right and wrong
and the appropriateness of just penalties for wrongdoing, as
well as of rewards for welldoing.
Many parents forget to look backward and to note at
how early an age they themselves learned to appreciate
principles of righteousness--to appreciate the parental care
which neglected not to reprove, to correct, and even to
chastise as seemed necessary. Let us recall, too, how keen
was our sense of justice when we were children--how we
mentally approved parental discipline when we understood
its motive to be for the development of character, but
how we resented it if we did not see a principle of justice, if
we were reproved or otherwise punished for things of which
we were not guilty, or if we were punished beyond a reasonable
chastisement comporting with the offense. Not only is
it the best and surest way of controlling a child thus to direct
its mind along the lines of right and wrong, truth and
falsehood, justice and injustice, but this constitutes also a
training of the child in character, when it is most susceptible
to parental influence. It is character-building at a time
when the conscience and judgment of the child are in their
formative condition, and when it properly recognizes the
parent as its sole lawgiver. If this work of character-building
be ignored in infancy, the work is many times more difficult
in future years, besides the disadvantages that will
accrue both to parent and child and neighbors and friends
in the interim.
[F528]
It is all-important, then, to notice that the training of a
child does not consist solely in teaching it respecting its outward
deportment in politeness, cleanliness, obedience, etc.,
but further, and indeed chiefly, in the establishment of right
principles in the heart--proper recognition there of the mind of
the Lord as being the only standard of living, both for old
and young. The Golden Rule, the Law of Love, of generosity,
meekness, patience, gentleness, forbearance, should
be inculcated as respects the child's relationship to other
members of the family, to playmates, etc. The child that is
taught to be selfish, or one whose natural selfishness is not
brought kindly to his attention (though not in the presence
of others) and lovingly reproved and corrected, is missing a
most important lesson at the most opportune moment.
The parent who neglects such an opportunity for giving
instructions and corrections of the mind and judgment, as
well as of outward conduct, is not only missing the most favorable
opportunity in respect to his child, but is allowing
weeds to grow in the heart garden where only the graces of
the spirit should grow; and is thus laying up more or less of
trouble for himself in dealing with that child throughout
future years. Many of the heartaches and tears of well-intentioned
parents over the waywardness, wilfulness, selfishness
and "wild oats" of their children might have been
spared them had they done their duty by those children in
infancy. Furthermore, such parents lose a great blessing in
their own experiences; for it is undoubtedly true that the
parent who is properly training his child in unselfishness,
love, obedience, reverence to God, helpfulness to his fellow-creatures,
etc., etc., will be getting valuable experiences for
himself--growing in grace, growing in knowledge and
growing in love, while endeavoring to teach these principles
to his child. He will learn, too, that the child will expect to
find him illustrating in his daily conduct and in his relationship
to God and to the members of his family, and to his
fellowmen, the principles he seeks to inculcate in others.
This will make him the more careful of his own words, his
[F529]
own conduct; and such carefulness, such circumspection of
all the little affairs of life, public and private, will assuredly
develop in such a parent more and more of the graces of the
Lord's Spirit, thus making him more and more acceptable
to the Lord, and preparing and perfecting him for the
Kingdom.
The atmosphere of the home, however poor, should be
one of purity. Absolute purity in thought, word and deed
we know to be impossible in our present conditions, just as
material purity is absolutely impossible where the air is full
of soot and dust. But every Christian home should be as
nearly absolutely clean as possible--as free from the outward
soil and filth as circumstances will permit, and as free from
moral obliquity and defilement as the imperfect earthen
vessels can be made. Every child should be able to look
back upon its home, however humble, however scantily furnished,
as a clean place, a house of God, a holy place. He
should be able to look back and in memory recall the voice
of prayer at the family altar, the kind words of father or
mother on various occasions, and the general spirit of peace
and restfulness through contentment and submission to the
divine providence. He should be able to sense the sweet
odor of love pervading the home and associated with every
member of it, manifesting itself in meekness, gentleness,
kindness, helpfulness.
A child bred to and reared in such an atmosphere of love
may be expected to desire to please the Lord and to obey
him from the earliest moments of his consciousness; and
from the time he reaches ten to twelve years of age he
should be encouraged to consider the propriety of a full
consecration to the Lord--to remember that his standing
before the Lord during the period of immaturity of judgment
is through the parent, but that in proportion as maturity
of mind is reached the Lord expects a personal
consecration. Should such a child thus trained, neglect or
refuse to make consecration to the Lord, we may be sure
that the home influences would still continue, although
[F530]
when years of maturity had been reached and no covenant
with the Lord had been made, such an one may properly
hesitate to approach the throne of grace--hesitate to claim
of the Lord the blessing he has promised to those who are
his, because he has refused to become his. Nevertheless, to
such there will still cling a precious memory of the seasons
of approach to the throne of grace and of divine watchcare
over the home of infancy and over themselves, and there
will continually be a longing for the divine protection and
for the privilege of approaching the Creator with the cry,
"Abba, Father," and the realization of relationship to him.
Should such an one become a parent, he will instinctively
feel a desire to train his children as he was trained, and all
these influences will gradually draw more and more upon
his heart, and the strong probabilities are that at least by
that time he will consecrate. In any event, the influences of
a godly home will have been with him, a holy protection
from many of the excesses under which otherwise he might
have fallen.
Contrast such a home, with its sweet odor of love, kindness,
patience, gentleness, with the home in which the
Lord's Spirit is not manifested--the home in which selfishness
is the law, in which the child notes the quarrels between
the parents, and how each seeks his own at the
expense of the other, in which the child hears little but chiding,
complaining, faultfinding, angry words, harsh sounds,
etc. These become contagious amongst the children, and
they in turn quarrel over their little affairs, speak angrily to
each other, and keep the household in perpetual turmoil.
The continued practice of selfishness in the home develops
this organ in the mind and in the conduct of the child.
If in an angry voice the parent calls it "a little rascal,"
and the feelings of the child, at first hurt by such reflections
against its character, become toughened, it gradually
learns to glory in being a little rascal. When first it hears the
angry and impatient mother exclaim, "I'll thrash you
within an inch of your life!" or "I'll break your back!" no
doubt there is a measure of terror conveyed by the words to
[F531]
the heart of the child, but it is not long in learning that
these are idle threats, from which it has comparatively little
to fear; and gradually as it learns that the civil laws of the
land would not permit the parent to do it serious violence,
the childish mind concludes that the parent had the will to
do it evil, but simply lacked the liberty. From such a little
mind much of the original instinct of love is driven out. It
finds its parent equally untruthful in respect to promises--
that the promises are frequently given without the slightest
intention of their fulfilment. Thus the child is taught to lie,
to threaten, to promise, to deceive others in respect to its
real intentions. Is there any wonder that such a child grows
up a hard character? The wonder, rather, is that between
the bad training, the indifferent training and no training at
all the civilized world is not a great deal worse than it is.
Children Born in Justification
In all these matters the New Creature has a decided advantage
over all others in respect to his children. They
should, to begin with, be better born, better endowed at
birth. And this prenatal endowment should be fostered
from the very earliest moments of infancy. The babe of a
few days is pretty sure to be nervous and irritable and distressed
if the mother is so; an influence goes to the child, not
only through the mother's milk, but telepathically, electrically,
from her person to the child. What a general advantage,
then, the New Creature has in the indwelling of
the Spirit of the Lord, with its peace, love and joy; and how
favored is the infant under such care! Humanly speaking,
how great are its possibilities as compared with the possibilities
of others in respect to noble manhood and womanhood;
and, speaking from the standpoint of the Lord's
Word, how great is its advantage when we remember that
the children of the Lord's consecrated people, like themselves,
are under the supervision of divine providence in respect
to all of their affairs; that the children of believers,
too, come under the terms of the promise that "all things
shall work together for good" to them!
[F532]
It is not difficult to see that the children of New Creatures
have a tentatively justified standing with God, in virtue of
the relationship of their parents to him and to them. As
the disobedience and alienation of Adam and Eve from the
heavenly Father brought alienation to all their offspring,
so, too, the reconciliation of the Lord's people, through the
merits of the great atonement, not only brings them back to
harmony with God, but their children as well are counted
justified through their parents, and on account of their parents,
up to such a time as the child shall have an intelligence
and will of his own. The question is more complex, however,
when one parent is the Lord's and the other is a
stranger and alien from him; but the Apostle assures us that
in such a case God counts the child as his, through whichever
one of its parents is the Lord's disciple. The influence of
the believing parent, the consecrated parent, is counted as
offsetting and overruling the influence of the unconsecrated
parent, so far as the child is concerned. On this subject the
Apostle says:
"Else Were Your Children Unholy
[Sinful, Condemned]."
"The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the [believing]
wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the [believing]
husband [in respect to the subject under
consideration, viz., the offspring of their wedlock]; else were
your children unholy [sinners under condemnation, unjustified,
unrelated to God, aliens from his care and blessing];
but now [in view of this provision of divine grace] are they
holy [that is, in a tentatively justified state with
God, through which he may treat them, not as enemies]."
1 Cor. 7:14
The question of the proper training of children may be a
difficult one, but not too difficult for the Lord to manage;
and, hence, the parent who has become a Christian may expect
the Lord's grace proportionately to abound in respect
to his affairs, and should seek the more earnestly for the wisdom
[F533]
and help that come from above, that he may be
rightly able to discharge his duties under the most trying
circumstances. The Lord's grace is sufficient for us in every
condition. The fact of the one being a New Creature, and
the other an unbeliever, or unconsecrated, does not alter
the divine arrangement in respect to the headship of the
family. This still devolves upon the husband, and if a New
Creature he must direct in respect to the affairs of his family
as best he is able under the circumstances, and guided by
the promised wisdom from on high. If the wife be the New
Creature, her soundness of mind, devotion to principles of
righteousness, her gentleness, meekness, thoughtfulness,
carefulness, should make her such a jewel in the family,
should cause her light so to shine before her husband, that
he might take pleasure in giving her practically the full
control of the children, for which he would discern her to be
specially adapted. Any rule or authority she should exercise,
however, would be delegated by her husband, who,
whether saint or sinner, is the responsible head of his
family.
Likewise the husband, letting his light shine, should expect
that ere long his wife, as well as his children, would discern
his difference from irreligious men, his spirit of love,
his gentleness and helpfulness, and spirit of a sound mind.
Nevertheless, if these results, which ought to be expected,
do not come--if the greater the faithfulness the worse the
treatment from the unbelieving partner--even to the extent
that a separation might be necessary, let us remember that
the Lord's counsel forewarned us that such might be our experience;
saying, "Think it not strange concerning the fiery
trial which shall try you"; and again, "A man's foes shall be
they of his own household." And again, "I have not come to
send peace on the earth but a sword." My message, although
it is a message of peace and blessing in the present
time, frequently results in strife, because the children of
darkness hate the light, and because many of them, under
the deception of the Adversary and the weaknesses of their
[F534]
own fallen nature, will wage a continual warfare against it.
Think it not strange, consider it a part of your trial, endure
it as a part of the divine will, until the Lord shall open up a
door of escape.
Some who have become the Lord's consecrated people,
members of the New Creation, appeal for advice, saying:
"In my early Christian experience in the nominal Church I
was mistaught. I was led to understand that when I got religion,
got saved, I needed nothing more, but simply to go
regularly to Church and pay my dues. I got little or no instruction
respecting the necessity for rooting out sin and
selfishness from my own heart, and receiving in its stead
more and more of the Spirit of the Lord, with its wealth of
love and all the inner graces associated therewith. I gave
any extra time and energy to helping my husband in his
business, and to striving to get up in the world, and was left
in ignorance of the meaning of my begetting of the Spirit,
and that I should be cultivating a newness of mind which
would be striving less and less for the earthly things and
more and more for the heavenly character and graces and
power and growth. During this time my children were
born. I presume they inherited these traits of mine which I
was cultivating at the time I was carrying them, and after
their birth I realized that they were sadly neglected as respects
what I now see to be the proper training the child
should receive, the proper duty of a parent who is a New
Creature in Christ Jesus. Now my children are wild, wayward,
selfish, disobedient. They not only lack reverence for
God, but also lack reverence for me, and my religious views.
What can I do with them? I realize the Lord's forgiveness,
through Christ, for my ignorant failure of duty toward
them in the past. I realize, too, that I am merely reaping
what I sowed, and that my present experiences are only a
just retribution for my carelessness of duty in the past. Oh,
where was my Christian sense? How devoid I was of the
spirit of a sound mind, and where were my religious instructors
and guides, who not only mistaught me respecting
the divine character and plan, but who did not even instruct
[F535]
me respecting the simplest of natural duties--my parental
obligations? Alas, I perceive that I spent my money
in their support for that which was not bread, for that
which satisfieth not--temporally or spiritually! But now
what is my duty? What course should I pursue? How may I
rectify so far as possible my neglect of the past?"
Our reply to such inquiries is that in this as in other matters
the Lord's people should not sorrow as those who have
no hope. The Lord, undoubtedly, will be pleased to find us
regretful for having failed of duty in the past, and he no
doubt will be pleased to have us ask his forgiveness for such
shortcomings, and to have us promise greater faithfulness
henceforth in seeking for and pursuing our obligations toward
those dependent upon us. He would surely be pleased
to have us take present experiences with unruly children
with patience, with forebearance, as a part of that chastisement
for sins of omission or of commission in respect to
their training; and thus received, these trials may serve for
our polishing and preparation for the Kingdom.
As for the duty of such a parent toward such children, it
would unquestionably be to begin by teaching them the
lessons they should have been taught in infancy, concerning
responsibility toward the Lord, the principles of
right, of justice, of love toward each other and toward all.
And this instruction should be given with great love and
forebearance and patience, which would be a notable lesson
to the child of the power of grace in the parent's heart.
According to the age of the child and other related circumstances
--the extent to which wrong principles had become
rooted, etc.--results should be waited for with patience; and
such restrictions as seemed absolutely necessary should be
applied with gentleness and consideration and explanations.
Parental authority should be established kindly, not
rudely. Children who have been in the habit of ruling the
household should not be expected to become good and
obedient children instantaneously. Wisdom from on high
should be sought in respect to the details of the home arrangements
and government, for no outsider is competent
[F536]
to understand thoroughly all the affairs of the family of another,
nor to give specific directions respecting its proper
government.
Two principles should guide: First of all, love for the
Lord and for the children, and this love should be guided
and directed by the Word of God; and secondly, the Word
of God, as the source of authority and instruction, should
be continually appealed to. Furthermore, all parents
should learn to treat children with consideration. Whether
they be children properly trained or otherwise, they should
realize that the parent respects their consciences and their
judgments, and endeavors to deal with them in harmony
with these elements of character. Especially as the child
reaches a condition of manhood or womanhood should his
or her reason be appealed to, and in the same proportion
force and corporal chastisement should be abandoned.
The principle of justice, to which we have already referred,
is to be found to some extent in almost every human
being, and especially if the sense of justice is found to cooperate
with selfishness. Thus, when the age of manhood or
womanhood is reached the child instinctively feels that he
has passed a line, and should no longer be treated as a child,
but as a companion; should no longer be commanded in anything,
but requested; should no longer be required to give a
strict account in detail of all moneys earned, but should be
permitted a larger discretion and personality than previously.
Wise, just, loving parents should not attempt a violation
of these rights of maturity; but rather seek from that
period onward to deal with the child as with a younger
brother or sister--as adviser and best friend. Good parents
are sometimes unwise and unjust in this respect, and take
advantage of the authority which the child has recognized
up to this time. They ignore its new estate of manhood or
womanhood, and attempt to perpetuate the imperativeness
of parental authority as before; and these sometimes meet
with a measure of success, but never, we believe, to their
own real advantage nor to the real advantage of their children.
They know, as well as does their child, that they are
[F537]
taking advantage of the docility of the child, and that if the
child would set up a rebellion, matters would speedily be
adjusted differently. They should consider that their course
is prejudicial to the child's real affection for them. He sees
this evidence of selfishness and injustice in the conduct of
parents of whose sentiments he had previously thought
differently. Filial love is thus sapped at its very roots, and
the parents are apt to learn the mistake of such a course before
they die, even if it succeed temporarily. We do not
mean to imply that the obligations of the child toward the
parent cease when the years of maturity are reached. Quite
the contrary. We hold, in harmony with the civil law of the
world, that a child is obligated to the maintenance of the
parent so long as the parent shall live, and the child shall
have the strength to provide the necessaries. Our argument
is that while, prior to maturity, the parent had full control,
after maturity the child has a personality and individuality
which should be recognized and appealed to. It is the duty
of the child to make provision for the parent, but properly
appealed to, the provision should be the more promptly
and lovingly made. The obligation of the child to aged parents
for their support corresponds exactly with the responsibility
of the parent for the care and reasonable support of
the child in infancy and immaturity. The parent who has
done justly and lovingly by his child will surely rarely be
left to want while that child shall have strength to provide.
While considering the duties of parents toward the children,
various questions arise respecting the proper amount
of education, the reasonable restraints as respects the kind
of reading and information with which the mind is stored.
We are of those who appreciate highly the value of an education;
and yet we believe that great wisdom should be
exercised in respect to what constitutes an education. Education
is like polish. Almost any stone may be made to look
beautiful by careful polishing, but careful polishing is not
alike valuable or helpful to all stones. In the case of a diamond
or a ruby or other precious stone, polishing is absolutely
necessary to the development of the latent qualities
[F538]
of the stone; without the facets, the glories and brilliancies
of the stone could not be appreciated nor shed their luster.
But the same polishing bestowed upon a cobblestone from
the street would be a waste of energy; worse than that, it
would make the cobblestone too valuable, too nice, for use
as a cobblestone. Moreover, it would be less fit for its duties
as a cobblestone after being faced than if it had been let
alone, or merely chipped in a general way, to make it fit its
place.
And so we perceive it is in respect to education, the polishing
of the mind with a "classical course" in college. Some
would be benefited by such a course, while others would be
injured. Who has not seen men so educated that they could
not occupy the place in life for which their natural talents
fitted them? They were over-educated, and, like the man in
the parable, they could not dig, and to beg they were
ashamed, and for anything else unfit. If in the Lord's providence
the parents found that they had a child of very
brilliant mind, and if that providence guided their affairs
so that financial and other considerations opened the way
for a collegiate course to such a child, they might well consider
whether or not these indications were the Lord's direction
in respect to their duty to the child, and should follow
their convictions. Nevertheless, in sending him to college at
the present time they should feel a great trepidation, a great
fear, lest this outward polish in the wisdom of this world
should efface all the polish of faith and character and heart
which they as the parents and proper instructors of the
child had been bestowing upon it from infancy and before.
The Lord's people of the New Creation should learn to
appreciate the education of heart and character and faith
in God as a superior education in every respect to anything
that could be attained in the schools of this world--that the
"wisdom from above, first pure, then peaceable, easy of entreatment,
full of mercy and good works," is more to be desired
than all the wisdom of earth. They should consider
well whether their child was so thoroughly rooted and
[F539]
grounded in character, in principle, in loyalty to the Lord
and his Word, that the infidel tendencies of the schools of
our day, and their rationalistic teachings called Higher
Criticism, Evolution, etc., could never displace the well-grounded
faith in the Lord and in his Word. Indeed, the
danger is so great that we would rather be inclined to be
content with such education as could be obtained in the
public schools and high schools or preparatory schools.
We write with full consciousness that to the worldly
minded this advice is foolishness or worse. Nevertheless, we
have learned to view matters from what we believe to be the
divine standpoint, and recommend that all of the Lord's
consecrated people shall endeavor in this and in all matters
to seek this standpoint--the Lord's view of this matter. We
might add, further, that in the strenuous times in which we
are living, with the rush and bustle and nervousness of our
day, the person who spends his life until twenty-one years of
age in school, being polished for the activities of life, has
missed another kind of schooling that is attained by the boy
who, finishing his high school course at, say fourteen or fifteen
years of age, has a further course of training in business
of some kind, "climbing the ladder." By the time he has had
six years schooling in practical business, the probabilities
are that he will be much better able to cope with present
conditions than the youth who has spent the same number
of years under college training.
As for play: One of the chief advantages from play is the
pleasurable exercise connected with it, for it is undoubtedly
a fact that exercise taken with pleasure is much more profitable
than exactly the same exercise would be if taken as a
drudgery. By some unknown chemistry of our systems the
mind and its moods have to do with all the functions of life.
Our happy moods cooperate best with all the forces and
functions of nature for the upbuilding of our systems and
the repairing of its wastes. But it is a mistaken idea that insists
that that which is useful is a drudgery and only that
which is useless is a pleasure, a play. We are of the opinion
[F540]
that a wrong thought connected with this matter has led
many reasonable people to cultivate playfulness and idleness
when, on the contrary, they should have been resisting
the natural impulses of the fallen nature in these directions.
The kindergarten is a movement of comparatively recent
times, in what we esteem to be a very right direction--the
making of instruction pleasurable to the child. And all subsequent
pleasure, favored by the wise parent, should be
somewhat along the same line--nothing should be
approved that is merely a waste of time and energy.
Relaxation and recreation should be secured chiefly
through change of occupation, rather than through idleness
or useless exercise. The little girl takes pleasure in dressing
her doll and caring for it, and "playing house." The
little boy "plays shop," and with sand, etc., as substitutes,
he makes imaginary dealings in tea and coffee and sugar
and potatoes; or he "plays horse," teamster, or imagines
himself a preacher or a missionary or a schoolteacher or a
doctor. All such plays are in the right direction, and should
be encouraged in the little ones. As they grow older they
should be drawn from these to consider it as a part of their
recreation to help keep the home in order or to assist in the
real store or shop with their parents or guardians or others.
If they be taught to take pleasure in usefulness, helpfulness
to others, financially or otherwise; if they be taught that
idleness is a sin and a shame, a discredit to any person and a
waste of valuable opportunities, they will be in a proper attitude
to face the duties of life with pleasure, and not to
envy those who waste both time and money in looking at a
ball game, or in participating in something equally foolish
and profitless.
Economy of time as well as of means should be inculcated
from infancy--not with a view to cultivating selfishness,
but an economy in accord with the divine will that
nothing be wasted. The Master, after feeding the multitude,
commanded that the fragments be gathered and not
wasted, thus indicating his mind in respect to all affairs,
that there be no wastefulness; that we recognize a responsibility
[F541]
toward him for every moment, every dollar, every
day; not a responsibility which would keep us in fear, but a
responsibility which delights to note the divine will, to be as
fully in accord with it as possible, and which realizes that
such a course is pleasing to the Lord, and, therefore, may be
thoroughly enjoyed.
The Proper Exercise of the Child-Mind
As the child grows and realizes how much there is in the
world to learn, he should be encouraged to read, but from
the first he should be taught to discriminate wisely between
the "chips" of fiction and the "apples" of knowledge. He
should be shown that every chip stored away in his mind is
worse than valueless, an injury or encumbrance, besides
having cost valuable time, which might have been used to
advantage in storing up knowledge, shortly so necessary in
the proper discharge of the duties of life. He should be encouraged
to read such books as would give information,
and not novels. He should know considerable respecting
the history of his native land, and have a reasonable knowledge
of the remainder of the world. He can secure these
through histories: we do not mean merely the histories
which give the order of kingdoms and battles and generals
but more particularly such works as show the social, moral
and intellectual development of the ages past, and of the
world as it is today. In a pleasant and kindly manner the
child should be shown the importance of such information
as a feature of education for his future--his reason and
judgment should be appealed to, and thus his will enlisted
in favor of such educative reading, and in opposition to all
weedy, trashy, dreamy literature, that will do him harm
and leave him unprepared for the duties of life.
The Scourge of Evil Suggestions
The following appeared in a criticism of a novel recently,
in the columns of the Church Standard. It illustrates the worst
side of the lesson we would inculcate:
"One of the most awful thoughts connected with this
[F542]
subject is the permanence of foul impressions in the human
memory. Years ago--no matter how many, and whether in
this country or another need not be told--a gentlewoman
lay upon her deathbed. She was still young and had lived a
more than usually sheltered life. In every act and word she
had been purity incarnate. It was not believed that she had
ever had an opportunity to hear one foul syllable in all her
life. Yet, in her delirium, she poured out in the hearing of
friends and attendants a torrent of obscene imprecations at
which they stood aghast. Where she could ever have heard
such words they could not imagine, and they never learned.
But were they therefore to infer that she had secretly loved
and gloated over them? Not so. The true inference is this,
that, having heard them in some evil hour, she had utterly
detested them, and that, in her very effort to forget them,
she had so fixed them in her memory that they abode with
her until the hour of death. That is not only the charitable
view, it is the just view, and it is the reasonable view. But it
would not always hold. When the mind and the imagination
have been opened and kept open for many hours or
days to the reception of unclean thoughts, and the contemplation
of obscene pictures, who shall tell the depraving
effect of such mental association? Of all the evil things in
this world of many evils, we know none so awfully appalling
in its subtlety and permanence of corrupting influence
as a bad book written by a man of genius."
The religious element of the child's mind requires special
training, and in this the Christian parent should be his tutor.
In the present confused condition of the world on religious
subjects, and their more advanced attitude as respects
common school and public instruction, any attempt to
teach any kind of religion is sure to be in opposition to the
prejudices or conscientious convictions of some of those interested.
Hence, justice demands that public schools be
freed from all religious coloring, instruction, forms and ceremonies.
Notwithstanding our reverence for the Bible as
the Word of God, we believe that the fact that the Jews are
[F543]
opposed to the teachings of the New Testament, that many
under the influence of Higher Criticism are opposed to
much of the Old Testament as well as the New, that some
infidels, skeptics, Buddhists, Theosophists, etc., are opposed
to the Bible entirely, while others disagree with the common
translation--in view also of the fact that all of these
classes are taxed for the support of the schools and required
to take advantage of them--it would be both just and wise
to omit religious exercises in the schools, and ignore the
Bible as a religious book, intruding it, if at all, merely as an
ancient history, rather than give offense to so many who do
not agree with us.
In view of our recognized reverence for the Bible as the
inspired Word of God, this suggestion may possibly seem
strange to some; but we believe it to be the proper course, in
harmony with the Golden Rule. True, we may be in so
small a minority that our influence, if we chose to exert it,
would be powerless, nor should New Creatures consider it
their duty to become advocates of this, any more than of
other moral reforms. All New Creatures have a higher, a
grander mission in connection with the development of the
New Creation, and can, therefore, well afford to leave all
such moral reforms in the hands of the world for the present,
until the Kingdom comes. Nevertheless, it is eminently
proper that we should have the spirit of a sound mind and
fullest accord with justice, even though no suitable opportunity
for expressing our sentiments on this subject shall
ever occur.
In any event, surely six hours a day for five days in the
week, and for less than six years in a lifetime, is quite little
enough to be devoted to the numerous lessons in secular
matters which are crowded upon the children of our day.
This appropriation of time for secular study leaves to the
parents, and their chosen spiritual guides, quite an abundance
of time for imparting whatever kind of religious instruction
may seem best to them. Out of 168 hours of each
week secular studies surely deserve all of the thirty hours
[F544]
per week appropriated to them--especially in view of the
fact that the strenuous times in which we live frequently
hinder the child from getting more than three years of such
training.
The Influence of Sunday Schools
The Sunday School has become a great institution
throughout Christendom. If it be considered in the light of
a children's social club, which draws them together once a
week and directs their minds out of the ordinary workday
channels and in a general social and religious direction, it
might be esteemed that the Sunday School has accomplished
considerable in the world--especially for the lower
classes of society. As for the effect of Sunday Schools upon
the children of believers, we regard it as injurious. We are
aware, however, that such a sentiment will be thought extreme
until our reasons are fully appreciated. They are these:
(1) The Sunday Schools have been injurious to Christian
parents, in that they have led them to consider themselves
relieved of the parental responsibility placed upon them by
the Lord. The Sunday School teacher is often thoroughly
incapable for such a responsibility, often a novice as respects
children and their proper training--seldom one who
professes entire consecration and begetting of the holy
Spirit. Such a teacher is given the place of the parent in respect
to the most important of all parental duties. The loss
experienced by Christian parents, through this arrangement,
is almost incalculable. It is a recognized principle in
spiritual things that he that watereth others is himself watered.
And so the parent who diligently instructs and guides
his children in moral and spiritual matters not only confers
a blessing upon them, but receives a great blessing in connection
with the service himself. This blessing Christian
parents of today are missing, because of having unwittingly
departed from the divine arrangement.
(2) The Sunday School is a decided disadvantage to the
children of Christian parents, because they do not get from
the Sunday School teachers the kind of instruction which
[F545]
the intelligent and conscientious parent could and should
give.
(3) The Sunday School arrangement is reacting disadvantageously
upon both parent and child from another
standpoint: it is causing the children to lose respect for their
parents, and is cultivating thus a lack of parental dignity on
the one hand, and of filial reverence on the other. Undoubtedly
it has much to do with the present-day condition of the
so-called "Christian world," in the matter of disobedience
to parents, family insubordination, etc. The religious organs
of the human mind lie on the top of the head, and
should be the dominating ones when they are active and
properly developed. Veneration is one of these, and it needs
directing. If the child sees that the parent venerates God
and his Word, and is instructed from this source, he has before
him an object lesson which should be valuable to him
throughout life, going down in turn to his children; but if
he sees the parent's veneration turned from God and his
Word and directed toward a clerical class, so as to receive
supposed divine messages through them, and without the
exercise of reason or the study of God's Word, the influence
upon the child is that of superstition and subordination to
priest-craft--an unhealthy condition as respects spiritual
development.
If in addition the child be sent to a Sunday School
teacher to receive instruction respecting the Bible, the lesson
to the infant mind is that the parent is incapable of giving
this instruction; and that as the parent is instructed by a
clergy of a supposedly superior rank, if not of a different nature,
so the child is to consider his Sunday School teacher
from a somewhat similar standpoint. The entire effect is to
rob the parent of the child's esteem and reverence.
On the contrary, the child who has been properly taught
from the Scriptural standpoint, that God has spoken
through his Word, and that he has arranged that some of
his children shall assist others in the expounding and understanding
of the Word, and that the parent is one of these
instructed ones, and a fully authorized priest of God in his
[F546]
own family, to teach--the appointed teacher of his own
family--that child unconsciously attaches a religious reverence
to the parent as God intended. And thus the divine arrangement
would give that parent a larger measure of
wholesome influence over his child while life shall last. Furthermore,
the parent, after having inculcated the Scripture
lessons, after having pointed out from the Word of God the
divine standards of life, of character, of thought and word
and action, and the Golden Rule of life--such a parent
would find himself greatly strengthened in his own practice
of the teachings of the Word. He would feel bound to exemplify
his own teaching, and would realize that even infant
minds are able to make applications of these religious rules
to the affairs of daily life.
Such a parent would find himself seeking to live nearer
and nearer to the standard which he proclaims as the divine
one; and in case of failure in any special degree would get a
blessing from making a confession of his failure before those
cognizant of it, even if they were his own children. Thus
all--parents and children--would learn more and more to
appreciate the divine standard, and to look to the Lord for
mercy and forgiveness; and thus even occasional shortcomings
of the parent might become to the child permanent
lessons in humility and contrition and submission
to divine law.
(4) Evidently many make as great a mistake in respect to
the proper functions of the Sunday School as in respect to
their thought that the Lord and the apostles erred in not
establishing the Church in its present sectarian condition--
in imagining that in dividing the Church of Christ they
have accomplished a work of wisdom; that greater results
are attained through denominationalism and creed divisions
than would have been obtained had the Lord's plan
been strictly followed, viz., "One Lord, one faith, one baptism,"
one Church.
The Sunday School as originally started was proper
enough. It began as a "ragged school" in Gloucester, England,
[F547]
in 1781, A.D. Robert Raikes, editor of the Gloucester
Journal, a Christian man, employed four Christian women
to teach the children of from ten to fourteen years of age
reading, writing, sewing, etc., from 10 A.M. until noon every
Sunday; and on Sunday afternoon to teach them the
catechism and take them to church. From that small beginning
the great Sunday School work of the present time has
developed. The plan was evidently a good one, and not at
all out of accord with the institutions of the Lord and of the
apostles. It only came to be out of harmony with these when
it displaced the Christian parent as the preceptor of his
children.
Our advice to every member of the New Creation is that,
whatever the mistakes of the past in respect to neglect of parental
responsibilities as the religious teachers of their own
children, they should begin to recognize and fulfil this duty
at once--the circumstances, etc., varying with the ages of
the children, and with the degree of insubordination and
parental disrespect which they may have already taken on,
which should be plucked up gently, gradually, lovingly,
with the remembrance that the fault has been largely that
of the parent in the neglect of a divinely appointed responsibility.
Neither we nor others are wiser than God, nor
should we or others presume to improve upon the general
principles laid down by the Head of the Church and the
twelve apostles whom he appointed to be our instructors
and guides. Hence we are not to reverence or perpetuate institutions
of men, however they may have become intrenched,
and however grand and imposing may be their
appearance and their claims. They must all be judged by
the one standard--the divine Word. If they agree not with
the Lord's Word it is because there is "no light in them"--
they are not of God. Isa. 8:20
The Confidence of Children
If the confidence of the child in the parent have its roots
in a recognition of the fact that the parent is a member of
[F548]
the Royal Priesthood, a child of God, and that the parent
has fellowship with God through prayer and is instructed
by God through his Word--ministers being merely assistants
in the understanding of the Word, etc.--and if additionally,
the spirit of love and its various graces of meekness
and patience and kindness pervade the home and flow
through its various channels, and if the parents seek and
exercise the wisdom that cometh from above, pure, peaceable,
merciful, the child's confidence will naturally rest in
that parent in respect to all of life's affairs. Then the many
questions naturally presenting themselves to the opening
mind--religious, moral, secular, social and physical--will
all be carried most naturally to such a parent.
Such questions should be expected and invited, and
should be given wise and respectful answers, according to
the age of the child. Confidential questions should never be
treated lightly nor confidences broken. Many a parent forfeits
the future confidence of his child by making light of its
sentiments or secrets. We do not mean that all questions
should be answered in full (regardless of age); a very partial
answer may be wisest sometimes, with the suggestion that a
full explanation of the matter will be given later--perhaps
setting a date--as for instance, "I will explain the matter to
you fully when you are thirteen years of age if your mind
and character then seem to be sufficiently developed to
make this the proper course. You may come to me with the
question then, and in the meantime should dismiss it entirely
from your mind."
To the rightly trained child this course will at once commend
itself, and in any event it should understand that the
parent's word is positive, that it had not been given without
mature consideration, and that once given it must stand,
until some further information on the subject should alter
the judgment of the parent. A proper observance of the
Lord's words, "Let your yea by yea, and your nay, nay,"
would save many parents much trouble, and greatly promote
the general peace and order of the household. From
[F549]
earliest infancy the child should learn obedience, and that
without a repetition of the command. But this in turn implies
a recognition on the part of the parent of his responsibilities,
and a desire on his part to grant all the reasonable
requests of his children, so far as his circumstances will permit.
Love, wisdom, and justice must combine in the parent
in order to make his power and authority valuable to the
home and all of its members.
The Power of Suggestion in Child Training
Few recognize the importance of the human will in respect
to health and sickness, joy and pain, obedience and
disobedience, right doing and wrong doing--indeed in respect
to every act and word and thought of life. And the
child-will is specially susceptible to impressions and suggestions
while the child-mind is opening to the affairs of life,
and the foundations of its character are being laid. Suggestion
and mind-impression stand related to clairvoyance,
hypnotism and the subtle influence exercised by Christian
Scientists--but we are advocating only those suggestions
which are truthful, helpful, strengthening to the child's will
and in full accord with the divine Word, and no more.
The Bible is full of suggestion--all proper preaching is in
the nature of suggestion--that selfish and sinful thoughts
and acts bring divine disfavor and react to our disadvantage;
but that loving thoughts, words and deeds yield
blessed fruits to others as well as to ourselves for the future
as well as for the present. Mark how the Apostle, after
pointing out the results of wilful sinning to be Second
Death, turns and declares suggestively, and therefore helpfully
to many: "But we are not of them that draw back, but
of those who believe to the saving of their souls." (Heb. 10:39)
The suggestions of Christian Science are, on the contrary,
false--"There is no sin, no sickness, no pain, no
death"; consequently also no redemption, no Savior, no
restitution. There is a wide difference between such false
suggestions and the proper ones which God's Word and
[F550]
God's messengers present, viz., a suggestion of the Truth--
of God's love and merciful provision in Christ for the full
recovery of all who willingly obey him.
Applying this law of good and truthful suggestion to his
child is the secret of a parent's success.* Some parents apply
the principle continually without being aware of it, and
they are the successful parents. For instance, the mother
who every morning greets her child with a cheery face and
voice, gives her child a happy suggestion, good for it both
mentally and physically. While dressing it, her little talk
about the pretty wee birdies and about the big sun looking
in at the window and calling all to get up and be good and
happy, and learn more lessons about God, and to be helpful
to each other, are additional profitable suggestions; whereas
a complaint about "another scorching day" would be a
suggestion of heat, discomfort and discontent, breeding
unhappiness.
*Employers, managers, superintendents of penal and reformatory institutions
--in fact every one can profitably apply this principle of good
and true and noble and honest suggestion to those under their influence
and to their own minds. Indeed many of the most successful in life are
already practicing it, but unconsciously. What are hope and laudable
ambition but mental suggestions?
If, instead of sunshine, there is rain and a gloomy outlook,
it will only make matters worse to think of the day
gloomily and to suggest gloomy thoughts to others. Rainy
days have their blessings for us as well as for others, and our
minds should be quick to note these and to pass them along
by suggestion to companions. The mother should anticipate
the child's disappointment by calling its attention to
the beautiful rain which God has provided for giving the
flowers and trees and grass a drink and a bath to refresh
them, that they may be bright and cheerful to us and yield
their increase; and provided also for the cattle and for us to
drink and bathe and be clean and happy, and praise him
and love him and serve him. Another helpful suggestion
can perhaps there be introduced, viz., that this will be an opportunity
[F551]
for wearing storm cloak and heavy boots, and
how thankful we should be that we have these and a rainproof
home and school. Or the suggestion can be given
that, "My little boy and girl must take good care to avoid
mud and water puddles, so as always to look neat and tidy,
and neither track mud into the schoolhouse nor into the
home. Pigs like the mud and have little sense about anything,
and therefore must be kept in a pen; but God gives us
reason and power to appreciate the beautiful and the clean.
Therefore to copy after pigs and lower animals in uncleanness,
etc., is to dishonor ourselves and our Creator and tends
to degradation. It is honorable for anyone to get dirty in
some useful and necessary employment, but no one should
get dirtier than necessary nor take rest or ease until he had
cleaned up." We need not point out how profitable these
suggestion lessons would prove--not only to the child but also
to the parent.* Discontent, one of the serious evils of our
day, would find little to stimulate its growth in a family in
which all were intent on giving happifying suggestions to
themselves and each other.
*The parent who thus greets his or her little child must of course have first
cultivated happy suggestions in his own heart; and this being true, it follows
that such good and happifying suggestions will not be confined to
the children, but will likewise flow out to the wife, husband, neighbors,
employees, etc.; and even the dumb animals will be blessed by it. It is
possible for the "natural" man or woman to practice this to
some extent,
but surely only in those begotten of the holy Spirit of the Truth the Love
of God can be expected to realize success in the highest measure in this
new life, which begins even here under the reign of Satan to scatter
blessings which ere long under the Kingdom of Messiah shall "bless all the
families of the earth."
The same method should be adopted in the guidance of
the child's dietary in sickness or health. Never should the
child have aches or pains suggested, for the mind will almost
certainly fasten upon these and tend to aggravate any weakness
or pain, nor should aches and ailments be made the
topic of conversation--especially not at table, where every
thought and influence should be cheerful, healthful.
[F552]
The good suggestion should be given early and be oft repeated:
"Is my little boy feeling happy this morning? Does
he love papa and mamma and sister and brother and doggie?
Yes, that's right--I thought so! Is he hungry for some
nice breakfast?--some nice porridge with sugar and milk
and cracker and bread and butter and jam? Now we must
remember not to eat any cucumbers today--nor unripe apples;
these give my little boy the stomachache. Instead we
will have something else for him specially good for him.
Won't that be nice? There will be corn on the table today,
but that would not be good for my little man, and so when
the dish passes he will say, 'No, thank you!' He wants to be
well and strong as God wants him to be and as papa and
mamma desire to see him. That will be a good lesson in
self-denial, too, and papa and mamma will take pleasure in
seeing their little boy (or girl) learning this great lesson, so
necessary to true manhood and womanhood. God wants all
Christians to practice self-denial in respect to sins and in respect
to everything which would hinder his cause in any degree.
And even worldly people all recognize that the person
who is a slave to his appetites is pitiably weak and unmanly
or unwomanly. Now papa and mamma will be watching to
see how strong is the will power of their little boy and we
feel sure he will succeed bravely." How highly God appreciates
self-control is shown by the Scripture statement,
"Better is he that ruleth his own spirit [will] than he that
taketh a city." Prov. 16:32
On moral questions lessons by suggestion are equally potent
for good or evil. Let us do evil, is a powerful incentive to
evil deeds. Let us do good, is a powerful incentive to well-doing.
Hence the right and the wrong, the true and the
false, the noble and the ignoble, should be frequently appealed
to every day, in everything--the true, noble and
right being shown in their true grandeur, as approved not
only by our Lord and Creator, but also by the noblest and
best of men and women, whom alone we should emulate.
The child-mind, thus taught early and persistently to admire
[F553]
the noble and the true, has a bulwark reared in his
mind against mean and dishonorable conduct in general. If
never sanctified by the Truth, if never begotten of the
Spirit, he has deeply laid the character needful to noble
manhood or womanhood, and if sanctified and begotten of
the Spirit, he or she will have the larger opportunities for
successful service, both in the present and the future life.
In the event of the child's disobedience and hence its
need for reproof or correction, it should be admonished
from the standpoint of sympathy and confidence in its good
intentions. "I know that my little girl whom I love so much
and endeavor continually to make happy, and to train as
the Lord would approve, did not willingly disobey me. I am
sure this disobedience was rather the result of following the
example of others and not sufficiently exerting her will to do
as mamma told her to do. I believe that this time I shall forgive
you and not punish you at all, except that tonight I
will give you no good night kiss--just to impress the matter
upon your mind, my dear. Now you'll try still harder next
time to exercise self-control and do as I direct--won't you,
dear? I am sure you will!" Next time take the matter still
more seriously, but never question the child's proper desires
or intentions. "I am so sorry that my little daughter failed
again. I do not doubt your good intentions, dear, but I am
sorry to see that you do not exercise your will power in the
matter as I am sure you could do, and as I earnestly hope
you will do in the future. It is necessary, my child, that I do
my duty toward you and punish you, though it would be
far more to my pleasure to commend you. I trust I may soon
be enabled to rejoice with you in your victory over this besetment.
The matter affects far more than is directly involved
in the disobedience; it affects your entire future, for
if you do not now learn to say 'No' to temptation you will
fail also in the more important and weighty questions of life
as they present themselves in the future. But I am confident
that my love and confidence and instructions will yet bear
fruit. And remember, my child, that our very defeats, as in
[F554]
this case of yours, may become helps to us, if we but set our
wills the more firmly for the right. We learn to be specially
on guard at points where we find by experience that we are
weak. Let us bow before the Lord and ask his blessing, that
this failure may be a profitable lesson, and ask his assistance
in laying it to heart, that your conduct may be more pleasing
to him when next you are assailed by temptation."
All suggestions should take into consideration the Lord--
"The fear [reverence] of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."
Scripture text cards in every room in the house
should continually remind parents and children and visiting
friends that the Lord's will is the only standard recognized,
that the Lord is cognizant of all our doings and
affairs, and that God is "for us," his newly begotten ones,
and for all who are seeking righteousness in humility.
Our Children in the Time of Trouble
Those of the New Creation now living who recognize the
fact that we are in the "harvest" time, that the separation of
the "wheat" and its gathering into the "barn" is in
progress,
and that ere long the great time of trouble will be upon the
whole world, and especially upon nominal Christendom,
feel a deep interest in their children, and a desire to arrange
for them as wisely as possible in that time of trouble. In
view of the fact which the Scriptures make prominent, that
the trouble will extend to all classes and involve all institutions
of the present time, financial, social, religious, political,
it would not be reasonable for us to expect that the
children of the New Creation would be miraculously
exempted from these troubles: nor need we think to find a
place on earth where they would be isolated under natural
conditions. When the time shall come that men shall cast
their gold and silver into the streets, and they shall not be
able to deliver them (Ezek. 7:19; Zeph. 1:18), gold
and silver,
bank notes and bonds evidently will be of little value,
and will fail to procure either protection or comforts or luxuries.
If we look away, then, to country places, where we
[F555]
might suppose that food at least would be obtainable, we
have the intimation of the Scriptures that the distress of
those days will affect the country places as well as the cities:
"There shall be no peace to him that goeth out nor to him
that cometh in, for I have set every man against his neighbor."
Zech. 8:10
There is just one promise which seems to hold during
that time of trouble, and it appears to be a general one, applicable
to all who are meek and lovers of righteousness.
This class should include all mature children of the consecrated
ones, who have been rightly taught in the precepts
of the Lord, rightly instructed out of his Word. The promise
reads, "Seek meekness, seek righteousness; it may be that ye
shall be hid in the day of the Lord's anger." Zeph. 2:3
Christian parents sometimes feel loath to leave their dear
ones, even though full of confidence that they themselves
would be with the Lord immediately they should pass
through the veil--that they would be changed and partake
of the powers of the First Resurrection, and be with the
Lord and all his holy ones and share his glory. The new
mind is sometimes thus hindered, and made anxious in respect
to the members of the family left behind--desirous of
continuing with them for their counsel, assistance and
guidance. Such should realize that having given their all to
the Lord, in accepting them the Lord accepted all of their
proper interests; and that they may wisely commit to his
loving care every earthly concern. As they more and more
learn of the lengths and breadths and heights and depths of
love divine, and how ultimately the benefits of the great redemption
shall extend to every member of Adam's race,
they will gain the greater confidence and trust in the Lord
in respect to their dear ones. Additionally, such should remember
that they themselves, on the other side the veil, will
have still as good an opportunity of watching over the interests
of their loved ones as they now have, and a much
better opportunity than now to exercise a protecting care
over them--a providential guidance in their affairs under
[F556]
divine wisdom, with which they will then concur
absolutely.
What, then, is the best provision possible for the New
Creation to make for their children according to the flesh?
We answer that the best provision is in their proper training.
This, as already shown, would include a reasonable
education in the common branches, and a particular training
and instruction in matters pertaining to God--in reverence
for him and his Word, in faith in his promises, and in
the cultivation of those characteristics pointed out in the
Scriptures as the divine will, the Golden Rule. Such children,
if left without one dollar of earthly wealth, are rich;
because they have in heart and in head and in molded
character a kind of riches which neither moth nor rust nor
anarchy nor any other thing in the world can take from
them. They will be rich toward God, as the Apostle expresses
it, and as again he declares, "Godliness with contentment
is great gain," great riches. Earnestly striving by
the grace of God to thus properly equip and qualify their
children for every emergency--both for the life that now is
and that which is to come--the New Creatures may feel
comparatively free from all concern respecting temporal
interests, remembering that the same Lord who has provided
things needful and expedient in the past is both able
and willing to continue his supervision and provision,
adapted to all the circumstances and conditions of that
time as well as this--for those who love and trust him.
Proper Amusements
Mirth and humor are elements of our human nature, too
often educated out of all proportion to the more serious and
useful qualities. Babies are spoiled by being kept in a constant
excitement of amusement until their contentment is
destroyed and they will cry for amusement. This thought of
amusement continues during childhood, when the child
should be entertaining itself investigating the affairs of life
and asking explanations of its parents or of books. Desire to
be amused thus cultivated, in due time craves the theater
[F557]
and the nonsense of the clown. Members of the New Creation
should from first to last train their offspring along opposite
lines--to be actors in the great drama of life, to
deprecate shams, and to seek to perform as great acts of usefulness
and benevolence on the world-stage as their talents
and opportunities will permit.
Marriage of the Children of New Creatures
We have already noted the Apostolic injunction to the
New Creatures, that those who marry do well, but those
who marry not do better. This advice, however, is not applicable
to their unconsecrated children. Concerning the
latter the Apostle writes: "I will [advise], therefore, that the
younger women [of the congregation but not of the Church
--believers, but not consecrated or sanctified] marry, bear
children, guide the house, give none occasion to the Adversary
to speak reproachfully." 1 Tim. 5:14
Many of the New Creation we believe err seriously,
though unintentionally, on this subject. They realize quite
correctly that in the majority of cases marriage not only
brings increased responsibilities but bitter disappointments
and sorrows and heartaches. But if the sons or daughters
have reached marriageable age and have not given their
hearts in marriage to the Lord, neither will they be prepared
to see the wisdom of following the Apostle's advice--
given only to the New Creation--that it is only better to
marry "than to burn" with uncontrollable desires.
Let us remember that God provided marriage for the
natural man and woman--Adam and Eve--before sin entered
the world, and that although the marital relation
may be abused, as can every other proper thing, and although
it is generally terribly abused, nevertheless this is
not the fault of marriage, but of its abuse. "Let marriage be
had in honor among all, and let the [marriage] bed be undefiled:
for fornicators and adulterers God will judge." Heb. 13:4
It is but natural that grown children should be disinclined
to take the advice of even the best of parents on this
[F558]
subject--the whole trend of nature is in the opposite direction;
and besides, they have the example of their parents. If,
neglecting the Lord's counsel that they surrender to him,
they conclude to learn the lessons of life by experience
rather than by precept, the sooner they begin the better.
Many of life's lessons can best be learned by marital experiences;
and to this end it is preferable that the newly married
be thrown as much as possible upon their own
resources--that is, that they be encouraged to start a separate
home of their own, etc. They will thus learn the more
quickly to appreciate self-reliance, fortitude, patience, mutual
forbearance and cooperation.
Under what the Apostle designates "the present distress"
(1 Cor. 7:26), we would even favor what would be considered
early marriages. The man at twenty-one and the
woman eighteen we would consider preferable in some respects
to riper ages, before habits of thought and conduct
have become too fixed. The married couple should twine
about each other; hence, pliancy of sentiment is desirable--
especially on the part of the female, who should accept as a
partner only such an one as she could reverence and look up
to and, so far as recognized principles would permit, she
would be pleased to yield to. Besides, the greater elasticity
of the physical frame of the young mother will be to her advantage
in enduring her peculiar share of the curse. (Gen. 3:16)
Let us not forget either the valuable experiences accruing
to every proper parent in his attempt to provide for
and train his children. These lessons may draw them to the
Heavenly Father more quickly than would any other, and
that is the thing to be desired above all others by the New
Creation for their offspring.
Wise parents will not attempt to frustrate the natural desire
of their children for marriage, but, cooperating wisely,
will endeavor with their wisdom to aid them in mating
properly. And the properly trained are not likely to ignore
the advice of the loving and careful parent, in the most important
transaction of the natural life. However, at such a
[F559]
moment let not the indulgent parent forget that the mating
should be on the same plane--unbeliever with unbeliever--
justified with justified, sanctified with sanctified--as already
set forth. In other words, if their sons or daughters be
unconsecrated they are not to endeavor to mate them with
one of the New Creation, who should marry "only in the
Lord"; but are to recognize that such a union of diverse natures
would probably be disadvantageous to both, and at
all events is contrary to the divine injunction that his
people marry "only in the Lord."
Stewardship of Our Children's Health
Parents will do well to remember that as clean bodies will
assist their children to clean minds, so healthy bodies are
valuable adjuncts to healthy minds. Every New Creature
should, with his "spirit of a sound mind," be sufficiently a
philosopher to guide his offspring to the attainment and
preservation of as much physical health as their constitutions
will permit. Pure air, pure water, pure food and
pure exercise, mental and physical, are at the foundation of
the best utilization of what we have received from our parents
and have transmitted to our children.
Every parent should know that foggy air is not "fresh
air," and that so far as is compatible with reasonable ventilation
it should be excluded from the lungs; that indoor
ventilation should include all the sunshine possible, and
that the delicate should not be out in the damp atmosphere
of the early mornings and late evenings. He should note the
cleanliness of all vessels, etc., connected with the water supply
and inculcate scrupulous care. He should see to it that
every child has some prescribed work to do proportioned to
its strength and years, and that he does it well and carefully;
and this work should be partly physical and partly
mental. The character of the reading and studying, no less
than that of the physical labor, should have close inspection,
and should change from time to time--for the
proper rounding out of mind and body, in preparation for
[F560]
the various duties of life. The child should realize the parental
interest in him, and should know that it is prompted
by love for his future welfare and is of divine obligation.
The proprieties of eating are sadly misunderstood and
this undoubtedly is the cause of much disease--mental and
physical. Every parent should know that foods may be divided
into three classes:
(1) Those foods highly nitrogenized, which go to build
up flesh, muscle, sinew. Of these are flesh, fish, fowl, eggs,
peas, beans. Of such food five ounces daily is esteemed a full
ration for an average man in an average occupation--children
proportionately less. These foods are injured by too
much cooking.
(2) Those foods composed largely of starch and sugar,
which supply the nervous energy--vigor, activity, vim,
heat. Of these are wheat, potatoes, corn, oats, rice, and their
various products--bread, crackers, puddings, etc. These
should be freshly cooked and well cooked to be most nutritious
and easy of assimilation--and this in proportion to the
natural weakness of the digestion. In our day of machinery
and easy travel the wear and tear on nervous energy is
much greater than upon the muscular fiber; hence food of
this kind should be eaten in much larger quantities than the
first named. The ration for an average man would be
twenty ounces per day--growing children requiring a little
more than a proportionate quantity because of their intense
activity of mind and body.
(3) Those foods--fruits and vegetables--which, composed
chiefly of water, are rich in bio-chemic salts, have a great
value. Not only do their salts of lime, potash, etc., assist in
bone-making and as nerve foods and regulators, but their
watery fibrous elements (as in cabbage, turnips, etc.), which
contribute nothing to our nourishment, assist in scouring
and cleansing the bowels and thus keep the more concentrated
richer foods from clogging in the system. Some of
these, such as squash, beets, sweet apples, etc., have also nutritive
value proportioned to their sweetness. And some,
strongly acid, act as thinners and purifiers of the blood. Of
[F561]
these are grapes, sour apples, lemons, oranges, etc. Of liquid
in some form--milk, soups, or watery fruits and vegetables,
or plain water itself, an average man should use at least five
pounds (equal five pints) daily--children proportionately.
The food contains enough liquid for meal times. The drinking
of water should be done an hour or more after meals.
These figures show that most people use far too little water
and vegetables.
It should be remarked, further, that many of the articles
set down amongst the starchy foods (wheat, corn, oats, etc.)
contain also nitrogenous qualities--so that where necessary
for the sake of economy or for any reason a purely vegetable
dietary could be arranged at a very small cost that would
nourish the family well, in brain, brawn and vigor.
An uneven balancing of these foods (especially of the second,
the most important) tends to disease--either oversupply
causes the blood to become too rich and sluggish and
causes pimples and boils, or a dark-coated tongue and
headache and gout, and leads to a stuffy cold; or a deficiency
of nourishment to meet the demands of nature
causes weakness, nervousness, a white-coated tongue, and is
apt to lead also to a cold. Children should be taught to note
their own symptoms and eat accordingly--to counteract
disease at its inception, or preferably to prevent it by moderation
and good judgment at the table. But all have not
alike sound judgment in such matters; hence all the more
should the parents, who by God's grace have the "spirit of a
sound mind," so regulate and proportion and alternate the
food supply of their tables that eaters thereat might have
little need for special carefulness or selection--the variety
being rather by rotation than by many kinds at one time.
We are not advocating a "fad," nor seeking to divert the
minds of the New Creation away from the spiritual food
and to fasten it upon physical health and what shall we eat,
what shall we drink, etc...after which things the Gentiles
seek. No; we are seeking chiefly the spiritual. But while our
minds and conversation are dealing specially with the spiritual,
it is our duty to use the soundest judgment we possess
[F562]
in the care of our children, committed to us by God's
providence.
A word in conclusion on this matter of diet. Horses and
cattle eat without apparent mentalization--good or bad--
and some of the brutalized members of the human family
do the same, but they are few. Hence at every meal there is
apt to be something to excite either pleasant or unpleasant
sentiments--love, joy, peace, hope, etc., or anger, malice,
hatred, strife, etc. Mental moods are now recognized as
having a powerful influence upon digestion. By some alchemy,
not clearly understood, the excitement of an angry
and malicious mood affects the nerves so as to interfere with
digestion, while cheerful and happifying influences act in
the reverse manner. The New Creature, himself, may inwardly
preserve his "peace of God" under multitudinous
unfavorable surroundings, but not so others: hence if he be
the responsible head of a family it is his duty to look after
the peace of the household by so far as possible keeping the
table converse upon pleasant and profitable if not religious
topics.
When committing the interests of our own health and
that of our children to the Lord we should be sure that to
the best of our ability we are using as wisely as possible the
blessings and privileges already bestowed upon us. Then,
and not otherwise, may we appropriate to our comfort the assurance
that all things are working for our good.
|