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STUDY XII
MARITAL AND OTHER PRIVILEGES AND
OBLIGATIONS OF THE NEW CREATION
Various Obligations of the New Creature--"All One in Christ Jesus"--
Promiscuous Association not Implied--Man and Woman in the Divine
Order--Man's Headship not Tyranny--Marriage of New Creation--
Advice to the New Creatures in the Varied Conditions of Marital
Union--In the Event of Desertion--Conscience the Final Test--Eunuchs,
Virgins, Celibacy--"Only in the Lord"--Parental Responsibilities.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there
is
neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus; [for] as many of
you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ." Gal. 3:27,28
THE New Creature consists at first of merely a newly begotten
will, which has the promise of a new, perfect, spiritual
body in the resurrection if it shall prove loyal to its
covenant obligations to the Lord. Its Law of Love obligates
it first of all to God, and signifies very hearty obedience to
the divine will in all things. Its second obligation is toward
its brethren of the New Creation, to do them good. Its third
obligation is to do good to all men as it may have opportunity,
and as the first two obligations may permit. Although
the New Creature, the new will, has not its own proper
body through which to operate and exercise itself, it is not
without a body, for, as the successor to the will of the flesh
and the natural mind, it enjoys, as part of its assets, both the
privileges and obligations of the natural body, in which it
must temporarily reside, and through which alone it can
find expression.
Even if the human body were perfect in every particular
the new will would experience difficulties in connection
with its use, because it is of the earth, earthy. It is adapted to
earthly conditions, and its ambitions and desires are
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earthly, however pure and noble they may be; while the
ambitions and desires of the new will are heaven-inspired
by the exceeding great and precious promises of the divine
message. This was exactly the case with our Lord Jesus,
whose body was "holy, harmless, undefiled, and separate
from sinners." He nevertheless, according to his covenant,
and according to the conditions in which that new nature
would thrive and be ready for the new body in the resurrection,
was obliged to crucify the flesh--to cross it, to devote it,
to submit and subject it to his new will. Even its proper,
natural tastes, preferences and desires must be sacrificed,
whenever they came in conflict with the Father's will, the
Father's arrangement, the Father's providential leadings;
and these included the sacrifice of the flesh, even unto
death, as necessary to the full adoption of the New Creature
and his glorification on the divine plane.
The under-members of the New Creation, the Royal
Priesthood, having imperfect bodies, whose sacrifice would
not be acceptable to God because blemished, sinful, imperfect,
need first of all to be justified by the sacrifice of their
Lord Jesus. By the merit of his atonement the sins and imperfections
of their mortal bodies are covered, and no
longer imputed, and thus in a reckoned sense their bodies
are made acceptable as sacrifices. The Apostle declares this
justification saying: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by
the mercies of God [in the covering of your sins through
faith in Christ] that you present your bodies living sacrifices,
holy, acceptable to God, your reasonable service."
Rom. 12:1
It was when this sacrifice of our reckonedly justified flesh
took place that we individually were begotten of the Spirit
to be sons of God--sons on the spiritual plane, instead of on
the human plane. There it was that the consecrated will was
accepted as the New Creature and began its existence,
which must prosper in proportion as it remains loyal to
God and to the covenant of sacrificing the mortal body and
its interests. The mortal body thus sacrificed and reckoned
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dead with Christ is to be so "quickened," or energized, by
the new will (the New Creature), so controlled by it, that the
remainder of life is spoken of as figuratively a resurrection
life. The New Creature, the new will, acting in and through
these mortal bodies, is declared figuratively to be risen with
Christ, and living for, seeking, those things which are
above. Col. 3:1
The Apostle refers to this newness of life, or figurative
resurrection, in which the new will uses the mortal body in
the divine service, saying, "If the Spirit of him that raised
up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up
Christ from the dead shall also quicken [energize] your
mortal bodies by his Spirit which dwelleth in you." (Rom. 8:11)
To the extent, therefore, that the new will thus gains
control of our mortal bodies, and uses them in the present
life as the best and only substitute it has for the spiritual
body, not obtainable before the resurrection--to this extent
it might not be improper to consider the mortal bodies of
the New Creation temporary substitutes for the spiritual
bodies waited for.
But all this matter of reckoning is spiritual, and is understood
and appreciated only by such as are begotten of the
Spirit, and who thus are enabled to view matters from the
divine standpoint. From the world's standpoint all this is
untrue, unreal--"foolishness." They see a difference in the
aim, ambition and conduct, but they know not how to interpret
it. They are apt to consider it a fad, or a mania, or a
"holier-than-thou" attitude, or hypocrisy. We cannot deny
that to all appearances there are these various counterfeits
of the New Creature--tares, having an outward resemblance
to wheat, but different at the heart. The New Creature
is not to be surprised or disappointed that he is not
understood by the world; but is to remember the divine
counsel that the world knoweth us not, even as it knew not
our Lord. It is a test of our fidelity to God that to follow the
footsteps of Jesus we must be disesteemed by those whom
we love, and whose esteem it is not unreasonable to desire.
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The fact that the friendship of the world and its esteem
mean enmity toward God and disloyalty to the consecration
covenant must settle the matter with the New
Creatures.
"To my Lord I must be true,
Who bought me with his blood."
Our present investigation relates to the proper course of
conduct of these New Creatures, these new wills, operating
in and through these consecrated bodies, which have certain
relationships to other human beings and certain responsibilities,
therefore, toward them, according to the
flesh. It is the will of God that the New Creature shall respect
these obligations of his mortal flesh in all matters of
justice--in honesty, in duty, in responsibilities properly devolving
upon his mortal flesh. Under present conditions,
therefore, the New Creature cannot in all matters do as it
would prefer, but must in certain affairs be governed by the
obligations of the flesh, because the divine injunction is to
"provide things honest in the sight of all men"; and further
"He that provideth not for his own hath denied the faith
and is worse than an unbeliever." Rom. 12:17; 1 Tim. 5:8
In view of these facts it will be readily seen that the new
will has an arduous task before it: (1) To please God in the
accomplishment of the sacrifice of the flesh; (2) to discern
distinctly which appetites and demands of the fleshly relationship
should be considered and allowance made for
them; (3) to what extent these demands and concessions
may properly be made without infringing upon and invalidating
the covenant--which is unto life or unto death--
"For if we live after the flesh we shall die; but if through the
Spirit we do mortify [kill] the flesh we shall live"--eventually
attain perfection in the resurrection. Here arises another
difficulty. The flesh does not voluntarily die: it must
be put to death by the will, the mind, the New Creature;
and so, finding that there are certain allowances to be
made, according to the will of God, the flesh is very apt to
take advantage of these allowances, and to claim not only
greater allowance than the "things needful," but also liberties
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and rights along lines which are not obligations, and
which would be interferences with the covenanted sacrifice.
These endeavors of our mortal bodies, sometimes to excuse
sin and sometimes to avoid sacrifice, cause the New
Creature frequent perplexity, and not infrequently temporary
stumbling; until gradually he learns more and more of
the deceptiveness of his own flesh and of its weaknesses, and
gradually grows in grace and in the wisdom which comes
from above, and obtains more and more of a mastery in
keeping the body "under"--in subjection to the new mind.
(1 Cor. 9:27)
Thus, by bitter experience often, the New Creature
learns to appreciate the declaration of the Lord's
Word, that the natural heart, the will of the flesh, although
slain, and not in any sense of the word in control, is "deceitful
above all things" and, sometimes, "desperately wicked,"
and desperately in earnest in its endeavor to overthrow the
rule of the new will, and thus to destroy the New Creature--
to the intent that the old creature may revive, and walk
after the flesh, and not after the Spirit.
Promiscuous Association Not Implied
The Lord clearly teaches us, through the Apostle, that his
preferences and favors are alike to all the New Creatures--
according to their zeal, according to their love for him and
the principles represented in him; and that conditions of
sex, race, color, etc., of the mortal body have no bearing
with him in his judgment of his people, in his estimation of
them, and in the distribution of the final rewards. Knowing
the Father's view of this matter, all of the New Creation
must take a similar view of it, must esteem all New Creatures
in Christ Jesus as "brethren," must be kindly affectioned
toward all, must seek to serve all, must know no
partiality amongst the brethren, except such as the Lord
himself showed--in that he favored and honored those who
showed the largest measure of zeal for his cause. But all this
impartiality, this ignoring of sex, color, race, etc., belongs to
us as the New Creation, and only partially affects our mortal
bodies, and their relationship with each other and with
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the world. Hence, the proprieties of conduct and relationship
between the sexes must be maintained by the New
Creation.
These, indeed, should have a larger degree of wisdom
and prudence than the world, by reason of their being begotten
to the spirit of a sound mind. They accordingly
should realize that as a New Creation, seeking to walk not
after the flesh but after the Spirit, it would be appropriate
for them to be even more careful than the worldly, the natural
man, respecting the weakness of their flesh and respecting
the propriety of certain metes and bounds of proper
conduct, modesty, reserve, etc., as between the sexes. In proportion
as the New Creature is seeking the spiritual life, and
in proportion as it realizes that sexual appetites war against
the interests of the New Creation, in that same proportion
should they endeavor, even more than the world in general,
to make straight paths for their feet, and to erect as many
barriers and as formidable ones as possible between themselves
and temptations.
The same argument applies to racial distinctions. There
is a relationship of the Spirit and a unity of the Spirit which
is totally different from a relationship and a unity in the
flesh. The interests of the New Creation will, we believe, be
generally conserved by the preservation of a measure of
separation in the flesh, because the ideals, tastes, appetites,
dispositions, etc., of one race necessarily are more or less in
conflict with the ideals, etc., of another; hence, the several
races of humanity will probably find their spiritual interests
as New Creatures best conserved by a measure of separateness.
There will be no difficulty along these lines if the
distinction between the New Creatures and the fleshly bodies
is clearly discerned. As the Apostle's words at the beginning
of this chapter would give no excuse for a common
herding together of males and females, because they are
"all one" brotherhood in Christ Jesus, so neither should
they be understood to imply anything promiscuous as between
different races. It does, however, set for us the standard
of spiritual appreciation and relationship, and of
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obligation to each and to all in matters both spiritual and
temporal.
Man and Woman in the Divine Order
The Apostle declares that "the head of every man is
Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head
of Christ is God." (1 Cor. 11:3) This is the uniform
teaching
of the Scriptures. As the Apostle shows, the headship of the
man was indicated to be the divine intention in the creation
of the man first and of the woman subsequently, as a separated
part of him. The Apostle is discussing this very subject,
and his words are, "He [man] is the image and glory of
God; but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is
not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was
the man created for the woman [to be her helpmate], but
the woman for the man [to be his helpmate]. For this cause
ought the woman to put a sign of authority on her head."
1 Cor. 11:7-12
It will be observed that this is not an argument as to the
relationship existing by contract between husbands and
wives, but a still broader one, based upon the relationship
of the sexes according to the order of divine creation and
intention. There is no suggestion in anything the Apostle
says here, or that the Scriptures anywhere enjoin, to the effect
that man is a master and woman his slave, which seems
to be the mistaken thought sometimes entertained; but
never, we believe, by those who have "the mind of Christ."
In the divine arrangement the family is the unit in the present
time, and every man coming of age is privileged to institute
a family, of which he should be the responsible head
and representative before God and men.
Man's Headship Not a Tyranny
That headship does not imply tyranny is evident from
the Apostle's declaration that Christ is the Head of the
Church, the Head of the man; and his further declaration
that God, the Father, is the Head over Christ. We find no
tyranny either in the Son's relationship toward the Church
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nor in the Father's relationship toward the Son. The position
of head, however, does imply a responsibility, a charge,
a care, a provision. Thus the Heavenly Father made provision
for the Son, and a glorious provision it was. True, the
carrying out of the divine plan involved suffering and sacrifice
on the part of the Son; yet the loving Father made the
plan no more severe, no more crucial, than was necessary in
the execution of his great and wonderful purpose, in which
the Son, now highly exalted far above principalities and
powers and every name that is named, is so honorable a
sharer. The Son rejoiced in the privilege he enjoyed of rendering
sacrifice and obedience to the Father's plan, and he
rejoices also in the glories into which he has entered, and in
those to come. So with the headship of the Lord Jesus over
the Church. So far from his headship signifying to us tyranny,
it is the synonym of love and care and helpfulness to
all the members of the New Creation. Similarly, the headship
of the husband over the wife and children signifies a
responsibility, a special care, as provider, foreseer, arranger,
protector, guide, example. Oh, that all fathers might properly
see their duties, their responsibilities, their privileges by
nature, under the divine arrangement; and that seeing
these they might use and not abuse them!
When we read in Genesis, as a part of the curse or sentence
upon mother Eve, and indirectly upon all of her
daughters, the words, "Thou shalt have desire unto thy
husband, and he shall rule over thee," and then look to see
how this rule has been exercised throughout the world, we
find that in many instances it has been a rule of tyranny,
and that the strength of mind and of nature of the fallen
man has not infrequently been exercised to the injury, instead
of to the comfort and advantage of the wife and children.
All good, noble men and women must deprecate such
a condition of things; nor can we suppose that such an abuse
of power is anything but offensive and ignominious in
the sight of the Creator.
The misuse of physical and mental strength on the part
of some husbands and fathers has undoubtedly reacted to
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their own unhappiness and to the general degradation of
the race; for though woman is by nature inclined to look to
a head and to seek and obey what she recognizes to be a
righteous authority ("a desire unto her husband"), yet the
abuses of the headship and the bad examples set one another
have to a considerable extent turned aside what was,
and still is, the substratum of woman's natural disposition.
Compelled by necessity to defend herself against unreasonable
demands of selfishness and tyranny, the general result
has been demoralizing to the whole race; so that while the
natural and the Scriptural order is very generally recognized,
neither men nor women in general know how to
adapt themselves to the present disordered and disarranged
condition of social affairs.
As a consequence we frequently find the fallen men striving
for a mastery and a headship for which they are quite
incompetent, in order that they may abuse it for selfish interests;
at the same time failing to recognize and esteem his
proper authority and responsibility as the protector of the
family. We see woman, also depraved and selfish, disposed
not only to rebel against an unreasonable and improper
headship, but even to dispute any and every proposition,
and to haggle and quarrel over it; and while not claiming
to be the provider for the family, nevertheless attempting,
directly or indirectly, to usurp the authority of the head of
the home, to take and to hold the control of the purse and of
the family. Wherever these conditions prevail, being contrary
to the divine intention and arrangement, they bring
forth more or less bitter fruitage sooner or later--however
wise or necessary they may at the time appear. The peaceable
fruits of righteousness are only to be expected in following
the divine natural order. It may be argued that, in
the present condition of matters, trouble of this kind is unavoidable;
that selfish men will overstep the bounds of the
divine order and intention, and that selfish women will do
the same; that, consequently, the peace and order and
blessing designed for the perfect man can never be realized
by his fallen children, and that the only remedy in sight for
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present family distresses through Adam's fall and disregard
of the divine plan, is restitution. To this we assent, and join
heartily in the Lord's prayer, "Thy Kingdom come. Thy
will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."
We are not considering now the possibility of bringing
order out of disorder amongst humanity, but the proper arrangement
and course in life for the New Creation in relation
to the home, the family, etc.--and the duties of one to
the other as husband and wife, parents and children. We
might, properly enough, consider this subject under the
head of duties and obligations of Christian men and Christian
women, were it not that the term Christian has lost so
much of its original meaning that now it is generally understood
to mean any individual neither a Jew nor a heathen.
Strictly speaking, the word Christian, signifying a believer
in and a follower of Jesus of Nazareth, is applicable only to
the New Creation. It is because the deflection is so common,
so general, that we are particular to differentiate the truly
consecrated believers as the New Creation.
The Apostle distinctly points out that the marriage relationship
amongst mankind is intended under divine arrangement
to be a figure or illustration of the relationship
between Christ and the Church, his Bride--his body. The
language is most explicit:
"Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of
the Church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the
Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the Church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify it,
having cleansed it by the washing of water by the Word, that he
might present it to himself a glorious Church, not having spot, or
wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without
blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their wives as their own
bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet
hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the
Lord the Church: because we are members of his body. For this cause
shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his
wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I
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speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let every one
of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see
that she reverence her husband." Eph. 5:22-33
The fact that typical unions are generally so imperfect
and so unsatisfactory does not annul the thought that marriage
was intended as a type, even as many of the sacrifices
of the Israelites were imperfect and unsatisfactory, but,
nevertheless, constituted types of the true sacrifice. The
New Creation should esteem the typical, earthly marriage
and its proper duties and responsibilities much more highly
because of their appreciation of the antitypical union between
Christ and his Church. Thus considered, every Christian
man finds the grandest possible exemplification of his
duties and responsibilities to his wife in the Lord's care for
the Church and her every interest, temporal, spiritual, present
and future, to the extent of his sacrifice of life on her
behalf. Likewise the wife, as she appreciates the duties and
responsibilities of the Church to the Lord, discerns a higher
ideal of a wife's duty and relationship toward her husband
as his helpmate. But we must not expect that these peculiar
relationships and the proper application of them can be
discerned clearly except by those who have the mind of
Christ. Hence, while urging all who contract the marriage
relationship to realize as fully as possible the divine ideal,
we, nevertheless, note that none can grasp and appreciate
and apply all of the principles and ideals connected with
this type except those who have been begotten of the
Spirit--the New Creation--because these only have the
mind of Christ.
It may be urged that the individuals of the human race
not having all fallen to the same degree, it not infrequently
happens that the wife possesses superior qualities of mind
and of heart to those of her husband. The question then
arises, Should they not under such circumstances consider
that such a wife, gifted with superior talent, judgment and
abilities, should be regarded as the head of the family, and
the husband as the helpmate? We answer, No. The divine
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order was disregarded in such a marriage; for no woman
should marry a man beneath her in character and talents--
one whom she could not properly look up to as her "head."
And no man should marry a woman his superior. Neither
should one who has become a New Creature in Christ Jesus
become unequally yoked with one who is still of the earth,
earthy--no matter how noble and honorable the person
may be. That the New Creature should marry "only in the
Lord" is advice which should not be ignored, and its disregard
has brought serious difficulties upon many of the
Lord's people.
Marriage of New Creatures
However, when once the marital relationship has been
entered into it is too late for regrets, and nothing remains to
the child of God except to carry out the marriage covenant
implicitly, in letter and in spirit, to the extent of his or her
ability. If both are New Creatures, and the mating be a
proper one, there should be no difficulty on either side in
deciding as to the proper arrangements and regulations of
the home: nevertheless, compatibility of natural disposition
and tastes should also be carefully considered. The
true Christian husband, having the mind of Christ, will
love his wife, will remember that he has covenanted to cherish
her, to care for her, to provide for her not only as respects
physical necessities, but also as respects the
nourishing of her heart and affections. Such a husband will
not feel that he has discharged his duty in providing merely
the necessities and comforts of food and clothing and shelter,
but will realize an obligation to his wife to consider her
mental, moral and spiritual interests as well. He will not be
satisfied that her time be entirely absorbed in family duties
and cares, but will, to the extent of his ability, seek the cultivation
of her mind, her heart--using his headship in the
family in so arranging its affairs that she will have reasonable
time for spiritual fellowship and the study of the
Truth. Such a husband will not forget that, like all the remainder
of the human family, selfishness is more or less intrenched
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in his mortal flesh, and as a New Creature he will
be on guard that this disposition shall not work hardship or
injury to others--especially to his wife and his children, who
are flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone.
Headship in the family, thus exercised in promoting the
welfare of those under its care in guiding, counseling, etc.,
as well as in providing things needful for them, will be far
from tyranny. Nor will the spirit of love in such a husband
ignore the likes and dislikes of his wife and her properly
given advice. He will recognize the fact that while the perfect
Adam possessed all the qualities of manhood, the separation
of Eve implied the separation of some of these
qualities: he will recognize, too, that although the strength
of mind and of body by divine arrangement abides with,
and constitutes man the head of the family, nevertheless
there are qualities of character specially possessed by the
woman. The humility which belongs to the spirit of love
will hinder him from being blind to the estimable qualities
which the Creator apportions to the female, and he will recognize
that his own qualities of heart and head need to be
supplemented by the other qualities which by nature specially
reside in the woman. He will, therefore, in proportion
as he has "the spirit of a sound mind," desire the help of his
wife, her cooperation, her views, her sympathy, her love,
and will appreciate them highly.
This does not mean that seeking the wife's counsel means
in all cases obedience to her views: it is for the husband to
weigh, to consider, to balance, to decide--giving proper,
reasonable, benevolent interpretation to his wife's sentiments.
The responsibility of headship is upon the husband,
and he must not avoid it. It is of divine imposition, a part of
his stewardship, for which he will be called upon eventually
to give an account.
Likewise the wife who is a New Creature and who has
married "in the Lord," and, having exercised proper discretion,
is well mated, should have little difficulty in recognizing
the duties and responsibilities and privileges of her
position according to the flesh. "Let the wife see that she reverence
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her husband," says the Apostle. She is not to wait for
outsiders to admonish her that she is deficient in wifely respect
toward her husband, nor to wait for her husband to
indicate that he thinks she is not treating him with the respect
due him according to the marriage covenant and according
to the Scriptural delineations of a wife's duty. On
the contrary, in looking about her to see what are the responsibilities
and duties of a wife, let her see that she reverence
her husband and realize that nothing short of this is
the meaning of her marriage vow according to the Scriptures
--whatever it may mean according to the world and
various human conceptions. Reverence toward the husband
means much, and really enters into all of life's affairs,
and touches and influences every act and word and thought
respecting the home and its interests.
The Apostle Peter calls attention to this same matter in
somewhat similar language, saying, "Wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands;...of a meek and quiet spirit,
which is in the sight of God of great price. After this same
manner in olden time the holy women also, who trusted in
God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their
own husbands: even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling
him lord." (1 Pet. 3:1-6) As the man who honors his wife
honors himself, so the woman who reverences her husband
honors herself. But this reverence of a husband as the lord
or master or head of the household does not mean slavery,
for the Church does not occupy toward the Lord a slavish
position, nor exercise a slavish fear, but a reverence of love,
of devotion--and this is the example.
This reverence for the husband does not imply that the
wife should not exercise her judgment and bring to her husband's
attention trials or difficulties or burdens too heavy
for her, etc., but her presentation of her views, her hopes
and desires should not be in a mandatory manner, but in a
deferential way, which would recognize the headship of her
husband and seek to be happy and contented with his decisions
after having presented to him her thoughts on subjects
of mutual interest. She should seek to be so considerate, so
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wise in the management of such of the household affairs as
the husband would intrust to her, that she would earn more
and more of his confidence, and be able more and more to
fulfil in the home, whether large or small, the important
duties of a helpmate. The thought that she is a helper, and
her desire for her husband's approval, will be seen to be in
strict harmony with the Apostle's suggestion respecting the
Church's proper attitude toward the Lord, in faithfulness,
and desire for his approval. But as in the Church it would
be a crime to ignore the Head, the Lord, in any measure in
connection with the work and its interests, so the wife
should feel that her course would be criminal and in violation
of her covenant were she to attempt to regulate the
earthly home, and to any extent ignore the one whom she
has vowed to reverence as the head of the family.
In the case of two New Creatures not well mated--where
the wife is evidently the superior--there is danger of difficulty
in adjusting affairs. If the wife has better judgment in
respect to the guidance of the home, in respect to the spending
of money, in respect to the training of the children, etc.,
she is not, therefore, at liberty to assume the headship of the
family and to order and direct her husband as though he
were one of her children or a servant. Such a violation of
the divine arrangement is sure to work disadvantage spiritually,
if not financially and in temporal matters, not only to
the man but also to the woman.
The man under such conditions would gradually lose
what little manhood he possessed, gradually drop everything
into the hands of his wife, and become merely her
tool, her slave, to provide the living and keep her commandments.
Such a condition would not be advantageous
to the husband as a New Creature; such a degradation of
his flesh would surely react unfavorably upon him, dispirit
him and hinder his growth in grace, in knowledge and in
the service of the Truth. On the wife also the effect would
prove injurious to the extent that the wrong course is followed
--much or little. If the case be an extreme one the
wife--as her husband gradually lets fall upon her, or as she
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gradually takes out of his hands, the responsibilities of a
husband--feels the weight of this upon her in addition to
her motherly duties; and in her attempt to be both husband
and wife, both father and mother, she is sure to become
more or less of a "business woman," more or less heady and
self-conscious. Her friends may admire the strength of character
which she displays, and may consider that the course
she takes is unavoidable--they may even encourage her and
hold her up as a commendable example of a strong-minded
woman; but none of them will love her as they would have
loved her had she developed along the lines of true womanhood
and true wifehood. Moreover, the qualities of the
flesh cultivated by such a course would react unfavorably
upon her as a New Creature in Christ, and, unwittingly, she
would become less spiritual and more self-conscious in
things pertaining to the Church.
The proper course to take in such a case of mismating between
New Creatures is for the husband to say to himself: I
have taken a wife contrary to divine arrangement. I have
thus run a great risk of domestic infelicity. My only course,
now, is to strive to the best of my ability to reach up to my
highest ideal of a true husband--to pattern as much as possible
after the Lord's example. I will need to be all the more
careful of my every word and act--to seek all the more earnestly
the wisdom which cometh from above, that I may
the more nearly accomplish the duties of the head of this
household, for which I realize I am not naturally qualified.
The wife in such a case should say to herself: I have neglected
the Lord's divine regulation and am mismated in
that I cannot reverence my husband, but instinctively realize
that I am his superior in natural endowment. I must
make the best of the matter. I must do my part faithfully;
and in proportion as I find my husband deficient, I will seek
to use tact and pray for wisdom from on high to know how
to help him, to lift him up, to make of him a noble man, and
to enlarge his capacity as much as possible, that I may thus
increase my love and reverence for him. Nothing short of
[F501]
this is my duty under my marriage covenant--it shall be
faithfully done as unto the Lord. As for his weaknesses and
poor judgment, not only will I hide these from outsiders,
but so far as possible I will hide them from myself; and in
mentioning them to my husband I will seek to avoid any
reference to or display of my superior abilities. I will expect
that in due time his own failures will commend to him my
better judgment, which, however, I will not press upon him
nor insist upon, but simply state in a kindly manner appropriate
to a helpmate. My expectation will be that ere long he
will seek my counsel and give it more and more weight in
all his affairs of life, and thus day by day and year by year
we may grow up together in harmony with the divine pattern
of the relationship between Christ and the Church. I
will be blessed as the wife in the cultivation of humility and
submission to the divine arrangement: my husband will be
blessed by the uplifting influences which I will be enabled
to bring to him, and thus the mismating which at first
seemed so disadvantageous, may, by the Lord's grace--following
the instructions of his Word--result in bringing us
both nearer to the divine standard as set forth by the
Apostle.
A still different case from the above may be suggested as
possible, namely, that two New Creatures, well mated according
to the flesh, might after years of fellowship and
helpfulness become mismated. Such a conclusion to such a
favorable beginning would imply that one or the other had
lost the holy spirit of love--if not entirely, at least to a very
great extent; that one or the other had neglected the apostolic
injunction and the entire divine regulation of the
duties of husbands toward wives and wives toward husbands.
If the fault should be with the husband and he
should cease to provide for the wife, cease to cherish her,
and, on the contrary, should desert her either in heart or affection
or actually, it would imply that he had seriously departed
from the Lord, and from the guidance of his Spirit,
and from "the wisdom that cometh from above, which is
[F502]
first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated,
full of mercy and good fruits." Under such circumstances
we could not consider such an one approved of the Lord as
an "overcomer" until after reformation.
Or the difficulty might be with the wife. She might become
heady, highminded, self-opinionated and gradually
lose her reverence for her husband--might even misrepresent
him and desert him and say all manner of evil
against him falsely. Such a condition of things would indicate
a very wrong condition of heart, very far removed
from that inculcated by the Word and would surely imply
spiritual degeneracy, no matter to what degree an outward
form of godliness might be maintained. Such an one would
surely be in a poor condition to appear before the Heavenly
Bridegroom with any hope of his approval; for such a
course toward the earthly bridegroom would certainly signify
a small appreciation of the duties of the Church toward
her Lord. If unfaithful to the earthly husband whom
she has seen, it would certainly argue and imply unfaithfulness
to the unseen Heavenly Bridegroom.
The earthly relationship as husband or wife between a
New Creature and one who is not a New Creature is to some
a matter of great perplexity, and there are many in this condition.
Where the two are well mated according to the flesh
the problem is difficult enough; but where they are mismated
both physically and spiritually, the difficulties are
multiplied. If the husband is of the New Creation and the
wife has the spirit of the world, his true religion and the
"spirit of a sound mind" which it gradually gives on all subjects,
and the moderation which it inculcates in all affairs,
should gradually lift him higher and higher in the esteem
of his worldly wife, provided she has a naturally noble character
and amiable disposition. His considerate treatment,
the full liberty of conscience which he would willingly accord
her, and his own devotion to principle, would all tend
to make such a union a happy one, except that the husband
would lack in his wife that spiritual fellowship which as a
New Creature he must appreciate higher than all other fellowships.
[F503]
But his prayers on behalf of such a noble-minded
woman, his example, and his considerate presentation of
the Truth will, in all probability, win such a wife to the
Lord and make of her a spiritual, as well as a natural helpmate.
Thus his patience and faithfulness to his marital
obligations might bring a grand recompense while her
faithfulness to principle would equally bring blessing and
happiness to her life.
If the wife be a member of the New Creation and the husband
have the spirit of the world, and they be well mated,
the problem will similarly be comparatively easy of solution.
The noble-minded husband, even though worldly,
will recognize the conscience of his wife in its moderate
exercise; and his desire to provide for her mental and moral
and spiritual opportunities, as would be his duty as a husband,
would give to her all that she could desire as a wife
except the desire for spiritual companionship in her husband.
To such a noble-minded man as we are discussing,
his wife's faithfulness to the Lord, and to himself in all of
life's duties, might eventually be blessed by bringing about
the husband's consecration to the Lord. The wife might
have good desires and ambitions in respect to temporal or
even to religious matters which her husband might not be
able to appreciate, however noble a natural man he might
be. In such case she should consider the counsel of the Lord
to his people, to be moderate in all things; she should consider
her husband's general liberality, and while not compromising
any matter of conscience or principle, she should
remember that amongst her wifely duties, recognized by
the Lord, is one requiring her to give her husband a measure
of her companionship. This might, not improperly, hinder
her from attending some of the meetings of the Church;
but she should beware lest in her desire to please her husband
she should violate her conscience and hinder her
responsibilities and obedience to the Lord, her Heavenly
Bridegroom. She should remember his injunction that we
should not forget the assembling of ourselves together. All
we are urging here is that she exercise moderation, consideration
[F504]
for her husband, etc., so that she might divide the
time to some extent with him, giving him a reasonable
share of her company.
Where the two are unequally yoked--one an unbeliever
and the other a New Creature--and where, additionally,
they are mismated according to the flesh, so that the wife is
the superior and the husband the inferior intellectually,
etc.--the case is much more complicated and requires increased
wisdom and grace on the part of the believer. The
Apostle specially admonishes those who are so situated,
saying: "The woman which hath an unbelieving husband
and he be content to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
...But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart: the
brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but
God hath called us to peace. For how knowest thou, O wife,
whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest
thou, O husband, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"
1 Cor. 7:13-16
The one point made clear respecting the duty of the
believer is that he shall do his duty, and seek in every honorable,
proper manner to conserve the peace of the household
and its general welfare, making as few points of contention
as proper devotion to principle and conscience will permit.
If there be real cause for separation, the believer must see to
it that the cause is not in him. The Spirit of Christ in him is
to make him more gentle, more humble, more peaceable,
more prudent, more wise, more long-suffering, more
patient, more loving and more kind day by day. All this,
however, will not in every case meet the requirements of the
situation. Sometimes the unbeliever is possessed of so mean
a natural disposition, and gives way to it to such an extent
as to be thoroughly irascible; and as the gracious dealings
of God toward Pharaoh only tended to harden his heart, so
the Spirit of God in his children, shining out to the very best
of their ability in all the graces and fruits of that Spirit, may
sometimes meet only with that hatred which the darkness
has for the light, and to which our Lord referred saying,
"the darkness hateth the light because it is reproved by it."
[F505]
(John 3:19,20) In such cases separation may follow, as the
Apostle points out, whether accompanied by a decree of divorce
from earthly courts or not. In any event, however, the
New Creature is not at liberty to remarry unless the divorce
be granted, and that on the one ground mentioned by our
Lord--adulterous unfaithfulness of the mate. Matt. 19:9
In the text quoted above, the Apostle declares, "If the unbelieving
[one] depart, let him depart"; but this is not to be
understood to signify that desertion by a mate would grant
liberty either to a husband or a wife to marry another: it
merely indicates that such a desertion should be viewed by
the believer as one of the circumstances of life permitted by
divine providence, which God is abundantly able to overrule
for his welfare--and accepting it as such, corresponding
opportunities for usefulness in the Lord's service should
be expected. Although the Apostle points out very expressly
that the believer shall not be the deserter, we believe that
human courts have wisely understood and interpreted in
deciding that there is such a thing as "constructive desertion"
--namely, that a mate may desert his partner in life
most thoroughly without their absolutely parting company.
The unbelieving wife might exercise, and in some instances
has exercised, so many petty tyrannies in the home
as to destroy all of its homelike qualities, to make it a veritable
purgatory, destroying her husband's religious literature
and striving to make it impossible for him to read or
study or think, by reason of the commotion purposely instigated
amongst the children, swayed by her to disregard
their father's word and counsel and to treat him with
indignity.
Such a woman may not desert her husband actually, but
with a meaner spirit may prefer to use him as her slave--
that by his energy she may enjoy life's comforts. Human
laws have construed such a course to be desertion--desertion
of the marriage covenant and obligations and of the
proper and reasonable duties of life. Such an one becomes a
hinderer and injurer instead of a helpmate. In such a case
we believe a husband thoroughly justified in considering
[F506]
himself deserted, and in taking up a separate home to which
he could take such of the children as had not been thoroughly
poisoned by the mother's wrong course. His obligations
toward such a wife have already been terminated by
her course: it is she that has deserted and broken the marriage
contract; and in withdrawing her support he is merely
acceding to the demands of her course. If, however, she is
repentant at any time, he should be generous to a fault in
forgiving her and in re-establishing upon a proper basis the
family arrangement. Nothing in this advice should be understood
to cultivate impatience or a readiness to take offense
and feel injured. Love demands that all bearable
treatment shall be borne; and that if evil has been rendered
for the evil, in word or deed, the wrong shall be considered
offset and condoned.
In other cases the desertion may be on the part of the unbelieving
husband. The meanness of his depravity may
make of him a brutal tyrant, regardless of the health and
happiness of his wife, and especially hostile to her religious
views. As we have already pointed out, the believer is to
seek and to attain the grace of the spirit of love which will
enable the endurance of practically "all things," and to be
profited thereby--to grow in grace under such conditions;
by cultivating the Spirit of the Lord and its various graces.
But there is a limit to all things, and beyond that limit it
would not be proper to go. Beyond that limit the influence
upon the unjust companion would be injurious instead of
helpful. Each must decide for himself what is the proper
limitation of submission in such matters. His own conscience
must decide, after that conscience has been educated
by both the letter and the spirit of the divine Word.
As growth in grace is attained the trials may become the
more severe; but there should be the larger capacity for endurance
with meekness and the larger amount of "the spirit
of a sound mind" with which to determine when the point
of unendurable severity and injury has been reached. Grace
from on high is needed, is promised, and should be earnestly
sought under such conditions. Jas. 1:5
[F507]
There are ignoble, brutish husbands who have no proper
conception either of a husband's duties or of a wife's proper
liberties--whose only conception of a wife is that of a
drudging slave, better than any he could hire, or that of a
cheap substitute for a harlot. Such treatment from a husband
is a desertion on his part, and the law of God as expounded
here by the Apostle properly interpreted is, we
believe, fully in accord with human laws, which declare
that for such a man the name husband is a misnomer--that
if he ever did intelligently and really make a marriage contract
with his wife he has most thoroughly and decidedly
broken it, and by such treatment has most convincingly
proved this. A wife so circumstanced is at liberty to consider
herself deserted and to make as much better conditions for
herself as she can; but she is not on this account permitted,
either by human or divine laws, to remarry. In such a case
she should look to the Lord either to mitigate her condition,
or, possibly, to open a way of escape from it. She should
take into consideration the ages of her children and what
provision could be made for them as well as for herself, and
should weigh the circumstances carefully and prayerfully
before taking the step. But if her conditions are endurable,
let her remain, as the Apostle says; and let her hope that in
showing forth the spirit of meekness, gentleness, patience,
love, she may win back again the heart of her spouse and
possibly also win him to the Lord.
We have dealt with this subject at considerable length,
realizing from a wide private correspondence that very
many of the Lord's most faithful children live in a matrimonial
furnace of affliction. Under the terms of the call of
the New Creation, none should expect that the present life
would be a smooth and pleasant dream of earthly felicity,
for our Lord specially declared of such, "A man's foes shall
be they of his own household." (Matt. 10:36) They should
not be surprised to be called upon to endure much for the
Truth's sake, and thus to evidence to the Lord their faithfulness
to him and to his Word; their willingness to endure
all the fiery trials which he sees best they should have for the
[F508]
development in them of the graces of the Spirit. They
should realize, too, that they are not to choose the kind of
fiery trials that shall develop them and prepare them and
make them meet for the Kingdom, but are to leave the entire
matter in the hands of the Lord. It is our duty, however,
to point out to all such suffering ones that they, after reasonable
trial and development, should be on the lookout for
divine deliverance and the opening to them of a way of escape
from things too difficult for them to endure. This is in
line with our Lord's admonition and example: "When they
persecute you in this city, flee ye into another."
Matt. 10:23; 2:13; 4:12; 12:15
Conscience, the Final Test
We have referred to conscience in connection with these
matters, and it may be appropriate here to call attention to
what we mean by that term. We mean conviction as to
what is right, what is duty. With the perfect man conscience
would be an absolute guide and he would know right and
duty instinctively; but the six thousand years of falling
have brought our race to a condition in which conscience is
certainly out of order--perverted by wrong views. The basis
of Christian conscience is faith in God, and acceptance of
his will as being absolutely right, and acknowledgment of
our proper obligation to be thoroughly and heartily
obedient to the divine will. Conscience, therefore, needs just
such education as the Word of God affords, and the developed
New Creature is for this reason to have "the spirit of a
sound mind"--his conviction as to what is right and what is
wrong expanding and clarifying in proportion as he grows
in grace and in knowledge and in the spirit of love. To obey
conscience is to do what he believes the Lord would have
him do; and he is not to jump to a conclusion on this matter,
but is to weigh carefully the testimony of the divine
Word and to decide accordingly. There are people who permit
fear and servility to dominate their conscience and to
vitiate it as a true monitor. A proper course for the Lord's
[F509]
people is to guide their consciences--that is, to guide their
convictions as to what is right and what is wrong by the
Golden Rule and all the collateral instruction which the
Scriptures afford.
Eunuchs, Virgins, Celibacy
The questions of sexology are amongst those which certainly
give the New Creation considerable perplexity; and
should, therefore, not be ignored here. Those begotten of
the Spirit to spiritual joys and blessings, fellowship and
communion, instinctively realize that fleshly or carnal intercourse
is not spiritually elevating, but that its tendency is
rather in the reverse direction. It is well that all the unmarried
of the Lord's consecrated ones should weigh this subject
thoroughly before entering the marriage relationship
and undertaking its responsibilities. The Lord seemed to refer
to the celibate state approvingly when he said, "Some
are born eunuchs, some are made eunuchs by men and
some [figuratively] have made themselves eunuchs for the
Kingdom of Heaven's sake." (Matt. 19:12) That is, some by
the exercise of their wills, after their consecration to the
Lord, have determined not to marry but to maintain their
virginity by living celibate lives. The Lord himself was one
of these, and is surely our noblest example, in all of whose
steps as closely as possible we should follow. The Apostle
urges this matter upon our attention saying:
"Now concerning virgins [males and females] I have no
commandment of the Lord, but I give my judgment as one
that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I think,
therefore, that this is good by reason of the present distress
[that is to say, under present conditions--our own imperfections
and the imperfections of others on the one hand, and
the special duties, privileges and opportunities of those who
have made a full consecration to the Lord on the other
hand]--namely, that it is good for a man to be as he is [to
remain in the condition in which the Truth may find him,
married or single]. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to
[F510]
be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But
and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a [female]
virgin marry she hath not sinned.
"Nevertheless, such [as are married] shall have tribulation
in the flesh: and I would spare you. But this I say,
brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that
have wives be as though they had none [ignoring earthly
relationships as much as possible, and setting the affections
specially upon heavenly things]; and they that weep [who
are in earthly trouble] as though they wept not [endeavoring
to forget the trials and disappointments and difficulties
of the earthly state in the joy and rejoicing of the
better promises that are ours for the future]; and they that
rejoice [in earthly prosperity] as though they rejoiced not
[their rejoicing in spiritual things quite overshadowing all
earthly sources of joy]; and those that buy as though they
possessed not [not setting their affections upon the earthly
things]; and they that use this world as not misusing it [permitting
moderation and the interests of the New Nature to
exercise a controlling influence in all of life's affairs]; for the
fashion of this world passeth away [we are as New Creatures
to live in accord with our new hopes, and not to be
continually making provision for the flesh; but rather seeking
at every cost to make our calling and election sure and
thus to be joint-heirs with our Lord in the glorious dispensation
and world to come].
"But I would have you free from care [of an earthly kind;
and hence, in addition to the foregoing admonition of
change of affections and transformation of mind, I now call
your attention to certain unquestionable facts]. He [fully
consecrated] that is unmarried is careful for the things of
the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married
is careful of the things of the world, how he may please
his wife. [He will find himself in continual danger of a division
of his affections and a continual need to be on his
guard, lest the earthly affections shall absorb all of his time
and love and interest, and that to a violation of his covenant
with the Lord; and the interests of the Truth must be
[F511]
paramount if he would be an overcoming disciple and a
joint-heir in the Kingdom]. And there is [likewise] a
difference between [the condition of] a wife and a virgin.
The unmarried [fully consecrated] woman careth for the
things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in
spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the
world, how she may please her husband.
"And this I say for your own profit [not as seeking to
bring you under bondage or in any manner to add to your
burdens, but that you who are unmarried may carefully
weigh the matter and consider your spiritual interests and
the privileges you will be losing by marrying]: not that I
would cast a snare upon you [to restrain you from the exercise
of your liberties], but for that which is comely [most favorable
to you as New Creatures], and that ye may attend
upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think
[that in remaining unmarried] he behaveth himself improperly
toward his virgin [toward a female friend whom
he had given reason to expect he would marry her], if she be
past the flower of her age [so as to have lost other matrimonial
opportunities through her engagement to him], and if
need so require [if she needs a protector or supporter] let
him do what he will [marry or not]; he sinneth not; let them
marry [if the necessities of the case seem so to dictate]. Nevertheless,
he that standeth fast in his heart, having no necessity,
but having power over his own will [to exercise self-control
and to live a celibate life, that he might give himself
more fully to the Lord and his service], and hath so determined
in his own heart to keep his own virgin [his own virginity
or purity] doeth well. So then he that giveth her [his
virginity] in marriage doeth well, but he that giveth her not
in marriage doeth better.
"A wife is bound for so long a time as her husband liveth;
but if her husband be dead she is free to be married to
whom she will, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she
abide as she is, after my judgment: and I think also that I
have the spirit of God [the mind of the Lord on this subject,
which I have already declared. I am not speaking by commandment
[F512]
or under direct inspiration, but according to my
conviction or judgment of the divine will.]" 1 Cor. 7:25-40
After marriage is too late for one to decide for himself
whether or not he prefers to live a celibate life. The Apostle
points this out most distinctly, declaring that neither the
husband has sole control of his own body, neither the wife
the sole control of her own body; but that in marriage each
has given himself to the other in such a degree that any refusal
of moderate reasonable marital rights would amount
to an injustice and violation of the marriage contract. The
Apostle speaks of such a course as "defrauding one another."
(1 Cor. 7:5) The time to consider such matters is before
marriage. Neither would it be proper that either
should attempt to bind the other, nor that they should together
vow a life of celibacy in the bonds of wedlock. Moderation
in this as in every other earthly matter must be the
law, the brake by which the New Nature will seek to maintain
its ascendancy over the flesh*--bringing even the very
thoughts of the heart into subjection to the Lord. Absolute
continence, however desirable it may be, the Apostle points
out, must not be enforced by either one against the other,
lest it become a snare and temptation to a violation of the
marriage obligations. He says:
*Jewish restrictions of Lev. 20:18; 15:25.
"Let the husband render unto the wife her due [what she might
reasonably, naturally and justly demand], and likewise the wife unto
the husband. The wife hath not power [control] over her own body,
but the husband: and likewise the husband hath not power [control]
over his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other except
it be by consent for a time, that ye may give yourself unto prayer; and
come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
This I say by way of permission and not of commandment,
for I would that all men were even as I myself [continent and
free, practically a eunuch]...But I say unto the unmarried and to
the widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they have
not continency, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to
burn"--to be consumed with an uncontrollable passion which would
hinder their fellowship with the Lord and might prove to them a
snare. 1 Cor. 7:3-9
[F513]
"Only in the Lord"
How reasonable, how wise are the Lord's injunctions!--
how much to the profit of those who have an ear to hear
them and who are obedient to their counsel! That the
Lord's people should marry "only in the Lord," may at first
appear a limitation, a restraint, a bondage: but no--it is
merely advice. Whoever follows the advice will eventually
find that he has been blessed thereby, and whoever disregards
the advice will generally learn the unwisdom of his
course through severe experiences later.
No other contract or arrangement pertaining to the
things of this present life is so important as the marriage
contract: yet people of fairly well-balanced minds seem to
treat it in a light and frivolous manner. Some parents seem
to consider more carefully and with sounder judgment the
matter of the purchase of a farm, the breeding of their
cattle, sheep, horses, dogs and hogs, than they consider
their share in the propagation of the human species. Such
unwisdom is difficult to account for except on the supposition
that they regard matrimony as a kind of lottery,
guided by chance instead of reason; or that they regard
God as the Creator of each individual member of the human
race--failing to discern that God's perfect work, as
respected our race, was accomplished in the first pair, to
whom he gave procreative powers which have descended to
their offspring. The right view of human nature is that it is
the highest type of animal creation, and, like the rest, has
been endowed by the Creator with the power of producing
each after his own kind. From this standpoint it becomes
evident at once that God is not the direct Creator of any of
the human family now living, and that the various weaknesses
and imperfections and imbecilities under which the
race suffers are not properly chargeable to imperfection in
his work, but to the fall of our race into sin, and to the natural
operations of sin--which tend more and more downward
into imperfection, degradation, death.
Even the natural man and woman, then, should take
thought carefully respecting the question of mating, so that
[F514]
they would do their part in offsetting, so far as possible, the
degrading influences affecting the race. They should realize,
for instance, the necessity for laws of consanguinity--
that the marriage of those of close blood relationship
should be avoided. Such regulations were unnecessary in
the beginning, when Adam's sons and daughters intermarried
freely and without injury, because, the race being
still nearly perfect, no particular weaknesses would be entailed
upon the children; but now, since the race has become
greatly demoralized, and since not only diseases, but
also mental characteristics and traits and idiosyncrasies,
run by heredity in families, it is a part of wisdom--yea,
more, a part of duty, of justice, to the children they would
bring into being--that they should not only avoid close
blood relationships, which might intensify the mental and
physical peculiarities and idiosyncrasies, but, additionally,
they should so far as possible recognize the appropriateness
of choosing a mate of different temperament from their
own. Nature seems to assist to some extent in this matter, so
that decided blondes or decided brunettes usually and naturally
prefer mates of contrary temperament.
But while these rules, which belong to the natural man,
would apply to the New Creature, if he decided that it was
wisest and in every way best for him to marry, there is still
one further admonition of the Apostle to guide the New
Creation mating according to the flesh--he should choose
"in the Lord." Then he would be mated in spiritual matters
as well as in natural. It might be urged by some that if close
relationship according to the flesh might produce extremes
in the children, so close relationship according to the spirit
might also prove injurious--be calculated to produce eccentric
children in respect to moral and religious matters. We
answer, No: that in proportion as the new mind is received,
its influence is contrary to the eccentricities of the flesh. The
Apostle declares, "We have the mind of Christ," "the spirit
of a sound mind"--we view matters from the standpoint of
Christ. The New Creation is begotten of his Spirit, although
still imperfect according to the flesh; and is guided
[F515]
by the Spirit through the Word in the understanding of the
divine mind in all matters.
True, this new mind must exercise itself through the mortal
body and its imperfect thinking apparatus; nevertheless,
although the imperfections of the flesh may color
the new mind to some extent and distort it out of its grand
and beautiful symmetry, the will is superior, and the flesh is
more or less influenced by it, shaped, molded, guided and
gradually transformed, so that whoever receives the mind
of Christ is sure to become, in the same proportion, sounder
and yet more sound in his reasonings on all the matters and
interests of life. This may not mean that he will be esteemed
by the world as wiser than before; but it does mean that he
will be really wiser, and that the world's failure to discern
his increasing wisdom will be because the world is blind, is
unwise, has not the mind of Christ, and sees things generally
from a distorted standpoint of depravity and selfishness.
The wisdom we want is that which cometh from
above, which the Apostle explains will make us more pure,
more peaceable, more merciful, more kind toward the
brethren, toward the family, toward mankind in general--
yea, and also to the brute creation. The wisdom of this
world, as the Apostle explains, is earthly, sensual, devilish.
Not that all worldly men and women are sensual and devilish,
but that the general trend of worldly wisdom is in this
direction; and that mankind, however blinded, is striving
against the laws of selfishness with which it is bound,
though it may continually seek to hide the chains of its
slavery from itself as well as from others.
"In the Lord" should be understood to mean much more
than a merely nominal belief in the Lord, much more than
a mere membership in the nominal church. Worldly people
should marry worldly people; nominal church people
should marry nominal church people; mere believers, trusting
in the meritorious blood of Christ, should marry similar
companions. But those who have taken the step of full consecration
and become members of the body of Christ, of the
New Creation, begotten again, should marry only of their
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own kind--only New Creatures--only such as are "in the
Lord" as accepted members of the body of Christ, partakers
of his spirit of holiness; and additionally, as already shown,
each should see to it that the proper sex relationship be
maintained. The woman should see to it that she marry
only such a man "in the Lord" as she can look up to morally,
intellectually, spiritually, as the head of the family--
one whom she can "reverence." The man should see to it
that he marries one "in the Lord" who would be, so far as he
is able to judge, a true helpmate, pure-minded, loving,
gentle, helpful--one not his superior, to whom he would
naturally be obliged to look up and esteem as the proper
head of the family. These rules of mating should all be observed
by the New Creation, possessed of the spirit of a
sound mind, however they may be disregarded by the
world, who are not guided by the mind of the Lord but disposed
to take their own way, to be guided by their own
whims or fancies, or by the mutual deception of each other.
If doubts arise, settle them on the safe side--wait until they
are solved.
It might be argued that if marriage were considered from
so particular a standpoint, matches would be less frequent.
We reply that this may be so; but that a large proportion of
those who are now married, especially those who have by
the Lord's grace come to a clearer understanding of their
relationship to the Lord as New Creatures, and to an acquaintance
with his counsel in the interests of their spiritual
development in matters pertaining to the flesh, would not
again marry as they have done--they are wiser now. With
many of the worldly the possibility, according to earthly
courts and usages, of a full divorce and of another marriage,
may seem to make them less particular, less careful in
respect to mating. But the New Creature should remember
that his marriage contract is similar to that between the
Lord and the Church--perpetual; that it is not canceled by
any earthly court to such an extent as to permit marriage to
another, except upon the one cause specified. (Matt. 19:9)
To the Lord's people, "in the Lord," marriage is therefore a
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very weighty contract, and should be undertaken only after
prayerful, thoughtful consideration and examination of every
feature bearing upon the situation as far as can be
discerned.
The New Creation has another protection in this matter.
According to their covenant with the Lord they have given
up their own wills and accepted instead the will of their
Head, the Lord; and if this be their attitude of mind--a sincere
desire to know the will of Christ (1) respecting whether
or not they should marry at all, and (2) respecting the
Lord's choice for them, they will, after exercising their best
judgment and discretion, commit the whole matter to the
Lord and pray for his overruling of affairs according to his
wisdom, resting their hearts contentedly on whatever shall
be the subsequent leadings of divine providence--whether
favorable or contrary to that which their best judgment
had approved. Thus and not otherwise can the Lord's
people be sure that they are taking the right course. In view
of the foregoing, how important it is that the New Creation
should have clearly in mind the instructions of the Lord's
Word on this subject; that they should have the very spirit
of the Truth; and that they keep continually in mind the
fact that they are New Creatures--not living as the world,
simply to enjoy the present life, simply to rear families according
to the flesh, but that their highest aim, object, endeavor,
should be to walk after the Spirit, and to follow the
directions of the Lord in all matters temporal as well as
spiritual. They should always have in view the fact that
they are consecrated to the Lord, dead with Christ as respects
this world; and that their chief aim and object henceforth
should be to use the present life and earthly vessels as
sacrifices in the wisest possible way in the interest of the
New Creature and its general work of serving and
glorifying the Lord and building up itself and others of like
precious faith in spiritual graces! How important that the
married and the unmarried, and those contemplating marriage,
should remember that their all is laid upon the altar,
and that their victory and attainment of the glorious things
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promised can only come through the consuming of the sacrifice;
and, hence, that all the affairs of the present life should
be ordered, so far as they are able, in such a manner as will
minister best to their own spiritual welfare, to the welfare of
the brethren and to the glory of our Head!
He Knows
"He knows the way I take--
What matter then if dark it be,
Or rough, or hedged about--
His staff shall comfort me.
"And should His love withhold
What seems so near, so dear, so sweet,
I'll humbly take this thing
And lay it at His feet.
"How sweet to know He knows,
And cares, and holds me by the hand--
Will safely guide until
I reach the Heavenly Land!"
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